Have Your Rituals Become Ruts?

ritual: any practice or pattern of behavior regularly performed in a set manner

rut: a fixed or established mode of procedure or course of life, usually dull or unpromising

When you see or hear the word ritual what comes to mind? Holidays? Religion? Family? Vacations?

My mom’s death in 2011 upended most of my rituals. She was the queen of ‘this is what you do when…’ and while my poor dad tried his best to maintain the ritual traditions (until his death last year), they’ve never been the same. And why was I holding on to ‘same’? Holding on to the impossible? Thankfully, I’ve finally let that shxt go!

Everything must change,

Nothing stays the same.

Everyone must change

Nothing stays the same.

The young become the old,

Mysteries do unfold.

‘Cause that’s the way of time...
(Songwriter: Benard Ighner © Universal Music Publishing Group)

It can be harrrrrd to let go of what can no longer be or what no longer serves us. The more I thought about my now being an adult orphan, the more I began to see ‘new’ instead of only loss. In examining and reassessing rituals, habits, traditions, etc., I’m struck by how close the definitions of ritual and rut are to each other. What I’m finding is that many of them are ‘shoulds’ that I’m more than happy to let go:

  • Mr. Washington and I have very different temperature preferences in hotel rooms and instead of our both being miserable, we either get adjoining rooms or a suite with multiple rooms and bathrooms so we can dress in comfort.
  • The church that most aligns with my spiritual, cultural, and political beliefs is a Baptist church in Alexandria, VA (it’s had female deacons since the ’70s!). YAYYY for live streaming.
  • I’m in the third year of renting a vehicle. Originally it was because my car died, we were planning to leave the country, and I didn’t want to purchase and then store a car. Family illnesses kept us stateside and now I do it because I LOVE driving with no maintenance accountability.

What ruts are you stuck in that are clothed in habit, ritual, tradition, or shoulds and oughts?? Make a list and assess. One of my favorite things to do with my clients is bust through one of their ‘shoulds’ they accept as fact. And let me tell you, if you want to drop some weight, release your shoulds aka shxt.

#LetThatShxtGo! #ItsYourTime #MidlifeManifest

Special Opportunity!
Be one of 50 smart women making a small commitment of time and money to reap the HUGE payoff of finally living life grounded in their priorities… not obligations. Send an email saying ‘Yes! to this blog post ASAP and get full details on the May 3rd, Retire to Thrive Workshop. We’re saving you gas (it’s online) and sending you swag (YAY!) PLUS there’s a Juicy Bonus for the first five paid participants (a TWO hour follow-up coaching session with me!). Response deadline is Wednesday, May 24th! See full details here.

Life is Not a Snooze Button

Ugh! Five more minutes. Burrow in covers. Five more minutes. Rush. Late.

“Life is not a snooze button.” My husband aka Mr. Washington dropped this pearl on me and our trainer while giving me a hard time for getting to our class late. Coach Peggy and I stopped in our tracks because we instantly felt the bigger life application of that statement.

I thought about all of the times I hit the snooze button on my life. Literally by burying myself under the covers to avoid the day and figuratively by avoiding The Thing that scared me. And every time I caved to F.E.A.R. (false evidence appearing real) through avoidance, self-sabotage, imposter syndrome, worry about O.P.P. (other people’s perceptions)… hitting the snooze button in a myriad of ways, it only delayed my growth, my expansion, my up-level.

Yes, sometimes delay worked in my favor or at least didn’t kill the opportunity but mostly, it was simply a waste of time I’ll never get back.

What desired change finds you hitting the snooze button? What opportunity are you avoiding?

Let that shxt go! Get UP! Get ON IT! Ta-day!!

#ItsYourTime #MidlifeManifest

P.S. Stop snoozing and hit the YES! button on at least one of two ways I can help you live in freedom, contribution and purpose on YOUR terms:

  1. Be one of 50 smart women making a small commitment of time and money to reap the HUGE payoff of finally living life grounded in their priorities… not obligations. Send me an email saying ‘Yes!’ to this blog post ASAP and get full details on the May 3rd, Retire to Thrive workshop. We’re saving you gas (it’s online) and sending you swag  (YAY!) PLUS there’s a Juicy Bonus for the first five paid participants (a TWO hour follow-up coaching session with me!)
  2. Do you have your ticket to the Self-Love Explosion Tour... Where Passion Meets Power on April 20th in Birmingham, AL? If not, why not?? Missing it will be an unnecessary regret. Get your ticket [here hyperlink  https://selfloveexplosiontourbham.eventbrite.com


I’m So Excited And I Just Can’t Hide It!

Image of Rene

When you read this, I’ll either be about to leave for or I’ll be on my way to Lisbon, Portugal. In September, I’m taking the women in my Midlife Manifest Sistermind to Portugal to celebrate their courageous six-month journey to living their BEST LIFE and this trip is to complete the planning. Sweeeeet!!

Women often comment on how I live my life and the comments usually sound as if the things I do happen because I’m special. I AM special and so are you. The only difference between me (and my clients) and the women who aren’t living the life they want is that we said Yes.

Yes, in spite of misgivings. Yes, in spite of fear. Yes, when we couldn’t see two steps in front of us.

Yes, because walking THROUGH fear INTO my gift…

helped a woman start her own business…

helped a woman leave the job that was suffocating her…

helped a woman start a foundation…

helped a woman start doing her passion work as a side gig until she retires…

helped a woman hire accountability to take control of her health…

helped a woman step into her dream work without making her husband feel abandoned…

helped a woman teach her husband how to treat her with respect…

helped a woman decide not to kill herself.

The work I do excites the hell out of me (literally) because it gives me a birds-eye view of women (re)igniting excitement and passion in their lives and that cascades down to touch many others who benefit from them living in their purpose and gifts.

Helping you live your Best Life IS my best life. And that’s golden.

#LetThatShxtGo! #ItsYourTime #MidlifeManifest

P.S. Ready to stop letting fear of hard keep you from your good thing?:

  1. Sign up for the Midlife Manifest Sistermind. It’s the transformation that sticks program. If you’d like to learn how you can 180 your life in six months, shoot me an email with “I’m Ready” in the subject line.
  2. Love to walk OR need motivation to get MOVING? Walk That Shxt Out! is your ticket! Get coaching messages perfectly curated for listening to while walking, running, or cycling.
  3. Come see me LIVE April 20th, along with the three other FAB women of Living Well Woman for our Self Love Explosion Tour…Where Passion and Power Meet! You don’t want to miss this!! Get ticket and sponsorship information here.