*Revised*Midlife Manifest Fifties Wisdom Week Seven: Get Comfortable With Discomfort

***Please disregard the previous blog with incorrect link.***

It’s my anniversary weekend! Five years married to Mr. Washington. ♥️ I was 49 when we connected and we had a six-year long distance relationship before we married. So, if love is on your ‘what you want to manifest’ list. Don’t give up!

And because I’m dialing it back this weekend, I’m resharing an oldie but goodie blog which just happens to fit nicely into my fifties wisdom theme. It also connects to my letting love win with Mr. Washington.

He was very different from the type of man I was accustomed to, plus he was a widower who’d been married to a woman I loved and greatly admired. LOTS of discomfort for me to overcome, but thank God I did or I’d have missed experiencing love-of-my-life passion!

What is ‘avoiding discomfort’ keeping you from manifesting?? Read more about that here.

Even having to resend this connects to my message. Sometimes we mess up. Nobody died. 😊

Happy Manifesting!

c.René

Click here for more weekly fifties wisdom, cReneCoach.com

Midlife Manifest Fifties Wisdom Week Six: Done is Better Than Perfect

Stop letting perfection stop action.

The fear of not getting it right, i.e., perfect, is probably the #1 issue that blocks my clients from manifesting the life they want. I’ve had three conversations with midlife manifesters in the past few days that connected directly to this. I too have to check myself on this blocker. Here’s how to pull yourself off that ledge:

  • Declutter…ditch physical clutter to ditch mental clutter. Clear a closet or even a drawer of what no longer serves you. Try it. You’ll be pleasantly surprised at how much this helps your getting clarity.
  • Remind yourself of your imperfect wins (and they’re ALL imperfect). One of the blessings of midlife is that we have many years of experiences that we can look back on and see that most of what we worried ourself crazy or stuck over, never happened. Or if it did, it usually wasn’t as bad as we feared.
  • Stay (mostly) focused on YOUR BIG GET. Missteps will happen. Focus on the ‘step’, not the ‘mis’. Learn from it and keep stepping!
  • Embrace the journey instead of fearing it. I said ‘mostly’ above, because there is so much richness on the path. Richness that lights you up (joy). Richness that pains you (lesson). Richness that lands you on a completely different path and still lands you exactly where you’re meant to be.
  • Stop trying to do it alone. Stay in your lane AND build your highway. My BIG GET is coaching as many midlife women as possible to living their personal brand of freedom. My gift is coaching. The backend stuff to get my message out is not. (Soooo NOT!) When I started, I did everything…imperfectly and often felt upside like the pic above. Yes, I fell off track at times, but I got back on and kept it moving. Now, I’m building and expanding my highway by hiring professionals who do their lane well so I can stay in mine! NOTHING’s more valuable than my faith, my time, and my health. Paying to fill in my skill gaps supports ALL of that and is worth every penny!

My path has been crooked (Have mercy!), but, “I wouldn’t take nothing for my journey.” (Maya).

Who do you learn best from? Someone who’s life has been a crystal stair? Who’s path has always been straight and has only experienced everything working out right for them??

Or someone who’s risen above ‘way out no way’ circumstances, poor choices, left turns and has a testimony from tests??

Don’t let wanting to be perfect keep you stuck. Let wanting to be FREE move you forward!

Done IS better than perfect.

c.René

cReneCoach.com

The Midlife Manifest revolution has begun! If you’re a ‘be about it’ woman who’s ready to stop wasting this best life chapter and get that life you’ve been craving, join us in my free facebook group, The Midlife Manifest by clicking here.

You’re DECIDED, COMMITTED, and READY to RECLAIM your life NOW! Let’s talk about how to work with me. Schedule your discovery session here

Midlife Manifest Fifties Wisdom Week Five: Stop Hiding…Share Your ShXt

Hello Beautiful!

Getting straight to the point…Stop hiding. Share your shXt.

You may have been raised like I was, under the mandate: “What goes in this house, stays in this house.” I took that so seriously that I didn’t even share when I was on my cycle until I was well in my twenties!

But the cost of hiding and suppressing is steep. I found that out in my mid-forties when my body tried to stroke out and I spent five days in the hospital. Through coaching, therapy, and continual self-assessment, I learned to lay my burdens down in prayer, with professionals, trusted friends, and even social media.

As Brené Brown eloquently asserts, the right to your vulnerability must be earned. It’s a tremendous honor and sacred gift to hold safe space and confidentiality with the many women I work with and what I know for sure is this:

You are NOT the only one.

Love drama. Children heartache. Money mistakes. Career craziness. Fired. Addicted. Dumb choices. Low living…you don’t have a monopoly on any of it.

And the suppression can be so deep that you hide yourself from yourself. That’s what happened to me. I thought I was carrying it well, holding it down like I needed to and always had…until I went splat.

Let That ShXT Go!

Because it’s weighing you down more than you know. It’s blocking you from fully flowing in the essence of who you were put here to be.

Let it go.

Stop hiding. Start living. LIVING. Not only existing.

I see the amazingness that happens when clients shed their crap. They show up for themselves in ways that are surprising even to them. They start businesses, take political action, build legacy, start foundations, get healthy, find lasting love…

This is why I started my coaching business and why I’m leading a midlife manifesting revolution. We have all the time we need and no time to waste. If you’re ready, let’s talk. The Midlife Manifest Sistermind is starting soon. Let’s talk. Schedule a discovery session through this link, ConnectWithRene.com.

If you want to join my Midlife Manifest Revolution right now and connect with a FAB group of women who are moving and manifesting, join my free facebook group, The Midlife Manifest. Click here.

To learn more about the shXt I’ve shed, listen to this short interview I did on April Mahoney’s On The Edge radio show, listen.

c.René

cReneCoach.com

 

 

 

 

 

Midlife Manifest Fifties Wisdom Week Three: When Do It Yourself Is A Don’t

Hello Beautiful!

One of my favorite things about midlife is that I’ve learned to trust myself. I stay informed, stay in prayer and intuitively decide the path I need to take. So when I decided to try a new adventure (hiking) and wanted to purchase appropriate shoes, I nixed my usual move: Amazon delivery and went to an actual store.

Excellent  decision!

My mom was the queen of self-sufficiency, but she also taught me to keep a list of go-to experts. So while I could have done my usual ‘highest star rating for the lowest cost’ google check, I decided I wanted the best foundation to keep myself from falling. What I experienced at Alabama Outdoors:

1. Hands-on Expertise was worth every penny those $200 shoes cost me. Brittany took me through THREE DIFFERENT FIT TESTS to ensure I was getting the best shoe for my needs.

2. Getting exactly what you want is worth the time it takes to get it. Brittany spent a solid hour with me. She assessed who I am, where I was going, and what I wanted. She took me through all of my options and didn’t let me settle for less than I needed to have a great hiking experience.

3. I slipped twice on that hike and my shoes kept me from falling.

As it says in Ecclesiastes, there’s a time and season for everything. Amazon couldn’t do for me what the Alabama Outdoors staff did. I left singing  their praises and also experiencing a sense of familiarity because I provide that level of service to my clients…walking them through my signature Get Your Life transformation process.

If you’ve been craving life-lasting change and don’t have it, how committed are you to getting it? If you’re complaining about the same thing today that you were a year ago, how serious are you about changing it?

Midlifers committed to their change take the necessary action to get it.

Mid-thrivers who are serious about their change step up to the challenge and invest in themselves to get it. They ditch do-it-yourself and get expert help.

These are the women I love working with…watching them Let That (maybe someday/it’s too late/I’m not worth it) ShXt Go! and forge their new paths to personal freedom.

Let’s step to it, Women!

c.René

cReneCoach.com

***Had a blast during my On The Edge radio interview! Listen here

***Join my free Facebook group, The Midlife Manifest, here

 

 

Midlife Manifest Fifties Wisdom Week Two: File For Divorce From Outcome…STAT!

Hello Beautiful!

I’m sharing wisdom gained from my decade of fifty. Today I’m talking about one of my favorite lessons and foundational coaching messages:

Divorce yourself from (specific) outcome.

And it’s the specificity of our desires that trip us up. Values and soul-supporting boundaries are one thing. Blinding yourself to possibility because it’s not wrapped in the package you expected or requested is another.

You want to be married, but you dismiss ‘The One’ because he’s 5’7″ instead of 6’5″. You want a new home and you over-extend your budget to get the mega-mansion and turn your nose up at the cute cottage in the friendly neighborhood. You want to travel, but your partner’s a homebody or your girlfriends won’t commit which nixes it for you.

I’m not saying you should settle. I’m saying that you won’t be truly happy until you’re clear on what exactly you want.

Do you want love that lasts or a 6’5″ partner? Do you want a home that provides comfort, security, and community without financial burden or a house that requires more upkeep than you imagined? Do you want to expand your horizons or let other people’s desires (or fears!) determine what you experience?

This was validated for me in two ways this week:

  • during an epic girlfriend trip to see the phenomenal Williams Sisters play at the U.S. Open. Something I set upper our tournament experience didn’t come through the way I planned and I almost let it bum me out until my girlfriends reminded me why we were there (to enjoy a fabulous time checking off a dream goal) and that a detail change wasn’t going to spoil that…and it didn’t! The (true) mission was accomplished.
  • getting this beautiful message from a client: “…Sometimes we measure success by what we can see. We have desired outcomes and often times if they don’t look like what we have in mind or what we have identified as success we question our impact. But all the while change is happening right where it needs to. On the inside. My inner infrastructure is stronger because of my work with you…”

I love helping clients get outcome divorces. It’s why my coaching retreats have artsy/creativity themes to teach women how you can become the designer, architect, and creator of whatEVER you want to manifest in your life. Let me know when you’re ready.

c.René

cReneCoach.com

For more midlife goodness, join us here in The Midlife Manifest, my free facebook group for women living their It’s My Time chapter.

Don’t want to miss a blog/newsletter? Sign up here.

 

 

Midlife Manifest Fifties Wisdom Week One: Celebrate Early…Celebrate Often

Hello Beautiful!

I read two devotions today, one on going BIG and one on receiving and sharing wisdom.

Right. On. Time.

If you follow me, you know I’m in the midst of celebrating the last year of my fifties and the approach of my sixties and I’m going out (and in) BIG:

Sharing my wisdom and zone of genius by launching my biggest coaching program to date, The Midlife Manifest, a SisterMasterMind that will give Be About It women a concierge, coach-on-call experience that results in their successfully bringing suppressed or deferred dreams and goals to fruition…

Honoring the temple God blessed me with through an elevated commitment to moving my body and feeding it power foods 80% of the time. This includes a BIG challenge to walk The El Camino

Expanding my horizons through a plan to live in Europe for 3-6 months that includes an epic girlfriend trip to Josephine Baker’s French chateau and her home in Morocco…

Deeper connection to my faith, husband, family, friends, and clients.

And I’m receiving wisdom. I hired a business coach who’s helping me expand my platform to serve even more women. I stopped rationalizing my dislike of exercise and hired a personal trainer. Seeking and investing in the expertise to reach goals and close gaps is how you stop wishing and start delivering on promises made to self.

For the next 52 weeks, I’ll be sharing the lessons and aha’s I’ve gleaned from my fifties.

Life is arbitrary. Celebrate early and often is about no longer waiting for a prescribed special timeline to acknowledge and celebrate small and big life blessings and wins. Everyday gives us an opportunity to be grateful..to celebrate. Do it! Now.

xoxo

c.René Washington

cReneCoach.com

Want the details on The Midlife Manifest SisterMastermind, schedule here.

For more midlife goodness, join us here in The Midlife Manifest, my free facebook group for women living their It’s My Time chapter.

Don’t want to miss a blog/newsletter? Sign up here.

 

 

Join The Midlife Manifest

Hello Beautiful!

Hope you’re winding down from a great weekend and looking forward to a productive week.

Have a listen to this short video on when that wasn’t quite so for me and a tease on what’s coming for women in the same boat, https://youtu.be/Y61LGZeqCkg.

I’m starting a revolution for women who are ready to rock our best stage of life…the midlife+ years and I want a 1000 be about  it midlifers to come with me!

To not miss any details, join us here in The Midlife Manifest, my free facebook group for women living their It’s My Time chapter.

Don’t want to miss a blog/newsletter? Sign up here.

It’s ON!!

3 Ways to Repurpose Your Pain

“Stop dithering. Start doing.” ~ c.René Washington

‘Why would anybody listen to me? I’m such a mess myself.’ This was said to me on a recent coaching call from yet another woman who told me she didn’t know what she wanted to do, then proceeded to tell me exactly what she wants to do and again, didn’t even realize it.

I know I’m sounding like a broken record (which I told you I would be in a previous blog), and it’s because I’m talking to women who are broken records. They are in pain.

The pain of confusing themselves.

The pain of lying to themselves.

The pain of inconsistency.

The pain of starting.

The pain of starting over.

The pain of not doing.

There’s a quote that says our message is in our mess. It’s the truth. I don’t coach from the top of the mountain looking down on my clients. I coach from having been in the same valleys.

This woman (who’s turning fifty) said that a friend told her she was out of time. No!

Midlife is when we have the time. Children gone or about to be. Primary career ended or coming to an end. Loads of self-knowledge (possibly suppressed, but there). More time and financial flexibility.

What we don’t have time for is worrying ourselves about time or letting fear keep us stuck.

Why not reframe your pain as a motivator instead of keeping it as the monster that keeps you from doing that thing you want to do? Example:

I recently began working with a personal trainer and becoming more selective about my eating (“You lose weight at the table and get fit at the gym.”). The first day with the trainer was killer! And I’m holding on to the memory of how painful starting over was because I don’t want to ever start consistently exercising over again. Ever.

We trick ourselves into believing that the unknown is worse than the pain we know. That’s just old programming designed to keep us supposedly safe. Don’t fall for the okey-doke.

THIS IS OUR TIME MIDLIFERS! Get about the business of making this your best life chapter. How, you ask?

1. Learn and Own who you really are. Not who you were told to be. Not who you’ll never be. WHO YOU ARE! Everything before brought you to your now. Drop your guilt and baggage and make a lemon martini out of any lemons.

2. Reframe your pain as a motivator instead of stroking it as the monster that keeps you from doing that thing you want to do?

I recently began working with a personal trainer and becoming more selective about my eating (“You lose weight at the table and get fit at the gym.”). The first day with the trainer was killer! And I’m holding on to the memory of how painful starting over was because I don’t want to ever start consistently exercising over again. Ever.

“Pain pushes you until the vision pulls you.” ~ Michael Beckwith

3. Stop worrying. Start living. Start walking.

I coached another woman who’s retired and had anxiety and confusion around what she should be doing. My suggestion was that she get comfortable with simply living…doing whatever she feels like…paying attention to what lights her up. The next week, what she’d been running from found her and she’s walking into it as an opportunity not an obligation.

Reframing works. Changing your mind, changes your life.

4. Invest in your life change. It truly is the gift to yourself that keeps on giving.

c.René

cReneCoach.com

Ready to do the work to reach those delayed/deferred dreams and goals? Join the smart and committed women who are already registered for my six month master…sistermind, Let That Sh#t Go that shows you through my signature 9-box framework, how to move past your blocks and bring those goals to fruition. We start September 20th, which will be here before you know it! Schedule a session with me to find out full details and apply for a seat at ConnectWithRene.com.

Join us here in The Midlife Manifest, my free facebook group for women living their It’s My Time chapter.

Don’t want to miss a blog/newsletter? Sign up here.

 

Yes, My Dear…You DO Know What You Want

Hello Beautiful!

“I don’t know what I want.”

This is the #1 statement I hear from women/clients. And it’s never been true. They continue to talk and within the next two sentences, they’ve told me what they want.

Many times, they still believe they don’t know because they CAN’T HEAR THEMSELVES!

Because what’s really true is not that they don’t know, but that they don’t believe they can have it.

So they lie to themselves about it. Run from it. Believe they’re too old. Too tired. Too obligated. Too ___.

This past week, I cracked through three client’s ‘I don’t know what I want.’ crap. One, I’ve been working with for months and she finally faced what she’d been running from: her gift and purpose in leading Christians to a tangibly accessible way to walk in faith that moves them into praying AND adding fruitful action.

Another is fully owning her value, removing distractions, and getting down to working on fulfilling a long-held dream that many women will benefit from.

The third is coming to the end of a corporate career and now sees that what’s becoming more and more frustrating in that world is simply fuel to move her focus to her new and exciting next chapter.

When we enter our 50+ years, it’s our time to use everything that’s come before in the manifestation of what we’ve been deferring, delaying, or denying.

What do you want? Helping you Answer that, Own it, and Live it is what I do. You ready??

c.René

cReneCoach.com

Join us here in The Midlife Manifest, my free facebook group for women living their It’s My Time chapter.

Don’t want to miss a blog/newsletter? Sign up here.

 

The Tracks of My Discomfort

Hello Beautiful!

When’s the last time you made yourself uncomfortable…on purpose? For many years, my mission was to keep myself as comfortable and pain-free as possible. I even had a motto:

I’m not here for a long time, I’m just here for a good time!

Until I hit my mid-forties.

As detailed in previous blogs, that’s when menopause, stroke, divorce, grief, and job transition came to redefine who I am. Or more accurately, show me what I’m really made of and who I’m meant to be. Not Ms. Good Time Gladys, but a woman who finds a way to enjoy life through it’s full possibility of promise and pain. I do this through:

Compass (following God’s guidance, making intuitive decisions, heeding my first right mind)

Connection (to my Community of family, friends, clients)

Commitment (to living FREELY in Who I AM and helping as many women as possible to do the same)

Creativity (in flowing in my zone of genius: teaching midlife women how to drop their mindset blocks, prioritize their goals, and reach them)

Consistency (in how I show up for my community)

Capacity (staying laser-focused on what’s important and prioritizing self-care)

Celebration (Always!!..cuz Life is tough AND BEAUTIFUL!)

I’ve also learned to embrace DisComfort and what pain comes to teach us.

Mr. Washington and I enjoyed a fun and interesting train excursion from Birmingham, AL to New York, NY…30 hours going and 23 hours back. (Yep!) We’d talked about it for years and I always talked myself out of it because I was afraid it wouldn’t be worth the possible discomfort. There was some discomfort (which I detailed in my private Facebook group, the Midlife Manifest), but there was also lots of uninterrupted conversation time with hubby, great landscape views, and time to catch up on a stack of newspapers I’ve been saving back to February (yes, I’m THAT kind paper/magazine junkie!).

We’re planning our next train trip and I’m thinking of other things I’ve delayed doing out of fear of discomfort, possible embarrassment, etc. I may not know exactly what to expect, but as with the trip, once I DO IT, then I’ll know and adjust and adapt as needed.

“Wouldn’t take nothin’ for my journey.” ~ Maya Angelou

I’m taking it to a new level. What about you?

c.René

cReneCoach.com

If you want to hear more about that train journey AND how to (re)claim this best life chapter, join us in The Midlife Manifest facebook group, here.

Ready to do the work to reach those delayed/deferred dreams and goals? Join the smart and committed women who are already registered for my six month master…sistermind, Let That Sh#t Go that shows you through my signature 9-box framework, how to move past your blocks and bring those dreams and goals to fruition. Schedule a session with me to find out full details and apply for a seat at ConnectWithRene.com.

Don’t want to miss a blog/newsletter? Sign up here.