3 Ways to Repurpose Your Pain

“Stop dithering. Start doing.” ~ c.René Washington

‘Why would anybody listen to me? I’m such a mess myself.’ This was said to me on a recent coaching call from yet another woman who told me she didn’t know what she wanted to do, then proceeded to tell me exactly what she wants to do and again, didn’t even realize it.

I know I’m sounding like a broken record (which I told you I would be in a previous blog), and it’s because I’m talking to women who are broken records. They are in pain.

The pain of confusing themselves.

The pain of lying to themselves.

The pain of inconsistency.

The pain of starting.

The pain of starting over.

The pain of not doing.

There’s a quote that says our message is in our mess. It’s the truth. I don’t coach from the top of the mountain looking down on my clients. I coach from having been in the same valleys.

This woman (who’s turning fifty) said that a friend told her she was out of time. No!

Midlife is when we have the time. Children gone or about to be. Primary career ended or coming to an end. Loads of self-knowledge (possibly suppressed, but there). More time and financial flexibility.

What we don’t have time for is worrying ourselves about time or letting fear keep us stuck.

Why not reframe your pain as a motivator instead of keeping it as the monster that keeps you from doing that thing you want to do? Example:

I recently began working with a personal trainer and becoming more selective about my eating (“You lose weight at the table and get fit at the gym.”). The first day with the trainer was killer! And I’m holding on to the memory of how painful starting over was because I don’t want to ever start consistently exercising over again. Ever.

We trick ourselves into believing that the unknown is worse than the pain we know. That’s just old programming designed to keep us supposedly safe. Don’t fall for the okey-doke.

THIS IS OUR TIME MIDLIFERS! Get about the business of making this your best life chapter. How, you ask?

1. Learn and Own who you really are. Not who you were told to be. Not who you’ll never be. WHO YOU ARE! Everything before brought you to your now. Drop your guilt and baggage and make a lemon martini out of any lemons.

2. Reframe your pain as a motivator instead of stroking it as the monster that keeps you from doing that thing you want to do?

I recently began working with a personal trainer and becoming more selective about my eating (“You lose weight at the table and get fit at the gym.”). The first day with the trainer was killer! And I’m holding on to the memory of how painful starting over was because I don’t want to ever start consistently exercising over again. Ever.

“Pain pushes you until the vision pulls you.” ~ Michael Beckwith

3. Stop worrying. Start living. Start walking.

I coached another woman who’s retired and had anxiety and confusion around what she should be doing. My suggestion was that she get comfortable with simply living…doing whatever she feels like…paying attention to what lights her up. The next week, what she’d been running from found her and she’s walking into it as an opportunity not an obligation.

Reframing works. Changing your mind, changes your life.

4. Invest in your life change. It truly is the gift to yourself that keeps on giving.

c.René

cReneCoach.com

Ready to do the work to reach those delayed/deferred dreams and goals? Join the smart and committed women who are already registered for my six month master…sistermind, Let That Sh#t Go that shows you through my signature 9-box framework, how to move past your blocks and bring those goals to fruition. We start September 20th, which will be here before you know it! Schedule a session with me to find out full details and apply for a seat at ConnectWithRene.com.

Join us here in The Midlife Manifest, my free facebook group for women living their It’s My Time chapter.

Don’t want to miss a blog/newsletter? Sign up here.

 

Yes, My Dear…You DO Know What You Want

Hello Beautiful!

“I don’t know what I want.”

This is the #1 statement I hear from women/clients. And it’s never been true. They continue to talk and within the next two sentences, they’ve told me what they want.

Many times, they still believe they don’t know because they CAN’T HEAR THEMSELVES!

Because what’s really true is not that they don’t know, but that they don’t believe they can have it.

So they lie to themselves about it. Run from it. Believe they’re too old. Too tired. Too obligated. Too ___.

This past week, I cracked through three client’s ‘I don’t know what I want.’ crap. One, I’ve been working with for months and she finally faced what she’d been running from: her gift and purpose in leading Christians to a tangibly accessible way to walk in faith that moves them into praying AND adding fruitful action.

Another is fully owning her value, removing distractions, and getting down to working on fulfilling a long-held dream that many women will benefit from.

The third is coming to the end of a corporate career and now sees that what’s becoming more and more frustrating in that world is simply fuel to move her focus to her new and exciting next chapter.

When we enter our 50+ years, it’s our time to use everything that’s come before in the manifestation of what we’ve been deferring, delaying, or denying.

What do you want? Helping you Answer that, Own it, and Live it is what I do. You ready??

c.René

cReneCoach.com

Ready to do the work to reach those delayed/deferred dreams and goals? Join the smart and committed women who are already registered for my six month master…sistermind, Let That Sh#t Go that shows you through my signature 9-box framework, how to move past your blocks and bring those goals to fruition. We start September 20th, which will be here before you know it! Schedule a session with me to find out full details and apply for a seat at ConnectWithRene.com.

Join us here in The Midlife Manifest, my free facebook group for women living their It’s My Time chapter.

Don’t want to miss a blog/newsletter? Sign up here.

 

The Tracks of My Discomfort

Hello Beautiful!

When’s the last time you made yourself uncomfortable…on purpose? For many years, my mission was to keep myself as comfortable and pain-free as possible. I even had a motto:

I’m not here for a long time, I’m just here for a good time!

Until I hit my mid-forties.

As detailed in previous blogs, that’s when menopause, stroke, divorce, grief, and job transition came to redefine who I am. Or more accurately, show what I’m really made of and who I’m meant to be. Not Ms. Good Time Gladys, but a woman who finds a way to enjoy life through it’s full possibility of promise and pain. I do this through:

Compass (following God’s guidance, making intuitive decisions, heeding my first right mind)

Connection (to my Community of family, friends, clients)

Commitment (to living FREELY in Who I AM and helping as many women as possible to do the same)

Creativity (in flowing in my zone of genius: teaching midlife women how to drop their mindset blocks, prioritize their goals, and reach them)

Consistency (in how I show up for my community)

Capacity (staying laser-focused on what’s important and prioritizing self-care)

Celebration (Always!!..cuz Life is tough AND BEAUTIFUL!)

I’ve also learned to embrace DisComfort and what pain comes to teach us.

Mr. Washington and I enjoyed a fun and interesting train excursion from Birmingham, AL to New York, NY…30 hours going and 23 hours back. (Yep!) We’d talked about it for years and I always talked myself out of it because I was afraid it wouldn’t be worth the possible discomfort. There was some discomfort (which I detailed in my private Facebook group, the Midlife Manifest), but there was also lots of uninterrupted conversation time with hubby, great landscape views, and time to catch up on a stack of newspapers I’ve been saving back to February (yes, I’m THAT kind paper/magazine junkie!).

We’re planning our next train trip and I’m thinking of other things I’ve delayed doing out of fear of discomfort, possible embarrassment, etc. I may not know exactly what to expect, but as with the trip, once I DO IT, then I’ll know and adjust and adapt as needed.

“Wouldn’t take nothin’ for my journey.” ~ Maya Angelou

I’m taking it to a new level. What about you?

c.René

cReneCoach.com

If you want to hear more about that train journey AND how to (re)claim this best life chapter, join us in The Midlife Manifest facebook group, here.

Ready to do the work to reach those delayed/deferred dreams and goals? Join the smart and committed women who are already registered for my six month master…sistermind, Let That Sh#t Go that shows you through my signature 9-box framework, how to move past your blocks and bring those goals to fruition. First class is September 20th, which will be here before you know it! Schedule a session with me to find out full details and apply for a seat at ConnectWithRene.com.

Don’t want to miss a blog/newsletter? Sign up here.

 

 

 

 

Be A Broken Record

Hello Beautiful!

It’s been a minute and I’ve got stuff to say. Indulge me.

“We teach best what we most need to learn.” ~ Richard Bach

Yes, I do. DUH!

What did I need to learn? Or more accurately, know and believe (because we learn the lesson, right? We just don’t always believe it!).

What I know for sure:

1. The best path to getting what we want will always be through following our spiritual gps/first right mind/inner compass/intuition/body compass. Staying only in our heads allows fear to fuel decisions instead of faith.

2. I’m wayyyy past fitting into someone else’s box and at this stage of life, I’m guessing you are too. That’s about not fully owning and believing in who we are. (See my ‘broken record’ definition for why continuing to do this can result in crash and burn.)

3. What’s been in the way: the fears, confusion, self-sabotage, procrastination, self-judgement, limiting beliefs, etc…becomes The Way.  That thing that won’t let you go?? It’s your path to happy. Address your mess and get FREE!

4. We are not islands and our sh#t is not unique. But it is sur-THRIVE-able…especially with the guidance of a great life coach 😉 and A-team accountability.

5. My BIG Walk-in-Purpose mission is to coach as many women as possible to light the match in their mid-life years that puts you on the path to prioritizing what you want for your life. To show you how to answer that What about me? question that keeps pinching you after years of keeping everyone else’s priorities at the top of your list. To show you how to draw boundaries that honor who YOU are and still maintain the ties that bind to those you love. To teach you how to enJOY life doing what feeds the essence of who you really are (not who you’ve been told you should be!) whether it’s through service, savoring memorable experiences, or embracing solitude. I’ve done this with numerous women and I’d love to do it with you!

The world needs our shine! Anything we’re allowing to block that shine needs to go…Now. Broken record has a double meaning for me. To my eternal shame and embarrassment, recently, I couldn’t complete a work commitment and broke my dependability record. There were several factors that contributed to that happening, but the bottom line was that I said Yes when I should have said No. I stayed too long and ignored the signals that it was time for a chapter to close. What do YOU need to release yourself  from? The other meaning is that I am now crystal clear on my One Thing: Coaching mid-life women to live their personal brand of freedom and I will be messaging that in all of my spaces.

If that doesn’t work for you, unsubscribe, go forth and be well.

If it does, stick with me because I’m pumping up the volume and if you’re serious about making that change you’ve been craving, you will learn exactly how to make it happen. And invite other ‘Yes! I’m about that!’ women to join us on this journey.

Finally, My business is my purpose and my purpose is business. Businesses market and sell. I coach at all levels:

Free: this blog, my Facebook group (The Midlife Manifest),etc…

Dip your toe in: online masterclasses, vision board events, dancing events, book clubs, etc…

ALL IN!: My signature 6-month sistermind (formerly mastermind), Let That Sh#t Go! for midlife women who are ALL IN on finding and living their purpose.

So yes, there will be promoting and selling that serves women who want to make life change that lasts.

ARE YOU INTERESTED OR COMMITTED?

What’s your non-negotiable broken record message for your life? I’m ready to help you lock it down!

♥💪🏾♥

c.René

cReneCoach.com

Where Your Expectation Goes…(The Replay)

Hello Beautiful!

I’m on a self-imposed break and will be back next week sharing why. In the meantime, here’s a re-share of an earlier popular post…Enjoy!

“Well if you don’t know why, maybe I made the wrong decision.”

Those words were spoken to me early in my corporate career. I received a promotion and the department manager who promoted me asked me if I knew why he promoted me. I said, “Not really.”

Mistake!

I was rolling in false humility because I knew exactly why he selected me. I was a great employee and perfect for the role. But I didn’t know how to own that self-awareness then. I wanted great things to happen to and for me, but tamped down my expectations because what if something didn’t work out?

So what if it doesn’t??

“Where your expectation goes, your life will follow.” ~ Tamara Joy Scott

Doing mindset work with my clients and myself has shown me how much we trip over our own crap and live a less-than-what’s-possible life. And a lot of that connects to being afraid to believe we can have what we want and feeling safe in expecting less. Well, I’m done with that s%#t and hope you join me.

I’m expecting the best to happen to me AND I’m fine with feeling disappointment when it doesn’t. Trying to avoid pain when what’s on the other side of it is wonderful keeps me from the full experience of a life well-lived.

I want the BEST WELL-LIVED LIFE EVER.

I expect to enjoy my days full tilt.

I expect to live a grand romance with Mr. Washington

I expect my programs to fill up with fabulous women.

I expect to be healthy, wealthy, and wise.

I expect to meet Michelle and Barack Obama one day.

I love planning to expectation and intuitively following a nudging that ends up superceding expectation.

Where your expectation goes, your life will follow.

Enjoying the hell out of my journey… and I literally mean Enjoying. The. Hell. OUT. Of. My. Journey.

What are you expecting??

c.René

cReneCoach.com

What’s The Source of Your Infection?

Hello Beautiful!

About a year ago, my dentist told me that one of my teeth was dead and needed to be removed. I won’t bore you with my dental phobia, but suffice it to say that I chose to believe she was mistaken. I brush, floss, and SmartMouth daily. The tooth wasn’t even bothering me. How could it have died without my knowing it? Didn’t want to think about an impending road construction-like experience in my mouth. Why hasn’t someone invented quiet dental tools? It’s 2017!!

Fast forward to this year’s exam and I could no longer avoid the truth. The tooth still wasn’t causing me any problems, but I could see on the x-ray that soon it would. Prayer, meditation, tapping, the smooth jazz station, and that wonderful calming aid called nitrous oxide helped me make it through the procedure without losing my mind up in there…up in there. LOL

Here’s my BIG AHA: the hygienist told me there was a lot of infection under the tooth. She said I was going to feel a lot better even though I may not have realized it because our body’s immune system fights infection, which can be tiring. And she was right! I do feel better…less draggy. I even lost some body swelling.

Years ago, I learned how insidious stress can be when I had a mini-stroke in the midst of thinking I had my drama under control. Now, another example of how not dealing with your sh#t…in whatever form it takes…can drag your life or even cause you to go splat!

“Your subtle messaging and coaching to take small steps have made a huge difference in my life.”

“You helped me let my sh$#t go! and it’s made ALL the difference.”

I just had the most enlightening conversation with my Coach c.René. I don’t use the word life-changing often. But in this case, life-changing really doesn’t adequately describe it. The conversation has changed the trajectory of my life. It’s nothing like finding out what you are good at and created to do. I’m about to add value to the world in a way no one else can. More to come!”

These are quotes from happy clients I’ve worked with during the past several months. I don’t coach from the mountain, I coach from the trenches of working through my own mindsh#t and showing you how to do the same so we can ALL live in our personal brand of Freedom and Purpose.

What’s infecting YOUR life that you’re ignoring? Let That Sh#t Go!

c.René

cReneCoach.com

Ways To Work With Me

FALL IS COMING. Let That Sh#t Go!, the MasterMind is open for registration. If you’re at that midlife What About Me? stage and you’re serious about reclaiming and redesigning your life, this 6-month program (based on my signature 9-box framework) is the answer. To apply for one of the limited seats and get full details, schedule a Discovery Call at ConnectWithRene.com.

In a mini-crisis and only need a one-time session? My new Mind-Set-Go hour of power is your brainstorming-to-solution choice! Click Mind-Set-Go.

Don’t want to miss a blog/newsletter? Sign up here.

Join my Free Facebook group, The Midlife Manifest, where we’re talking about how to own this life chapter, here.

 

Leaving The Ledge

I forgot the sour cream. My homemade cheesecakes have earned near legendary status in my circles. Apple, praline, bananas foster, Boston, and the one I make the most, a classic New York-style.

I made one to take to a family dinner, but because I worked most of the day into the night, it was 10pm before I got started on it. Into the oven it went close to 11pm and that’s when I realized that I hadn’t gotten sour cream to make the topping. Ugh!!

My mind mentally catalogued my fail…for about five minutes. Then I pulled myself off the ledge, reminding my lizard brain that ain’t nobody gonna to die over a topping-less cheesecake. I had strawberries and pineapple and that would have to do for toppings. If anyone complained, I’d explain I was trying something different.

NOBODY COMPLAINED!

No one even mentioned it. They ate the naked cheesecake and raved about it as usual.

Catastrophizing is real. Our brains are wired to do it. The great news is that we can rewire it to move from Freakout Ledge to Let That Sh#t Go Ave. (see how I did that? LOL).

There was a time when my automatic response would have been to jump in the car and head to 24-hr Wally World OR send hubby, but mindset work makes the round trip from krazy back to sanity blessedly short.

Send me your ‘ledge’ stories. And if you visit there often,

Stop right now,

Breathe,

and set your mind on peace.

Your go-to question for the ledge: Is anybody gonna die? No? That means it’s survivable.

Chill.

xoxo

c.René

cReneCoach.com

 

 

Let It Go!

Hello Beautiful!

Why am I always talking about letting your sh#t go? Because it’s biologically necessary for us to do so…on the regular…which makes it one of the best life metaphors for changing your mind to change your life.

“A mind is a terrible thing to waste.”

Not letting our mind-sh#t go leads to a wasted mind which leads to a less-than life.

I listened to a FB Live series on decluttering from the force of spirit that is Tamara Joy Scott and even though I’m a pretty vigilant declutterer, her message made me realize that I was holding on to some things out of fear not love.

Da suits! Da suits!

I have purposed to de-corporate-tize my brain and after a 27-year career that ain’t easy! But the more I move away from that structured mindset, the more I roll in my passion: coaching women to get out of their own way and live their personal brand of freedom.

Tamara’s message made me realize that I was subconsciously holding on to a few remaining suits in case I needed to go backwards. And I’ve done some corporate work and haven’t worn any of those suits! It’s not the suits, it’s what I was making them mean.

My ‘just in case’. My ‘don’t burn a bridge’. My plan B.

Well, I’m letting THAT sh#t go! I’m ALL in on this entrepreneurial journey. Plan B’s are good and I’m beyond grateful for those corporate years, but the safety net can compromise the full manifestation of our gifts. I thought about…

The look on the face of one of my L.T.S.G. program members who’s let so much mind-sh#t go...

The excitement in the voice of another L.T.S.G. member when she realized that the only person standing in the way of that big trip she wanted to take was her (she booked it!)…

All of the Aha’s that my retreaters experienced and are using to move themselves forward…

THIS is how I know that walking in your passion is not some Woo Woo thing, it’s a Real Talk/Purpose-in-Action thing!

So those suits are going to My Sister’s Closet.

And I will keep asking: What sh#t do you need to let go? What box (or ‘suits’) do you need to free yourself from?

The only block is YOU.

c.René

cReneCoach.com

_______________________________________________________________________

Ways To Work With Me

Mark your calendars for Thursday, September 20th! Let That Sh#t Go!, the MasterMind is open for registration. To apply for a seat and get full details , schedule a Discovery Call with me at ConnectWithRene.com. If you’re at that midlife What About Me? stage and you’re serious about reclaiming and redesigning your life, this 6-month program (based on my signature 9-box framework) is the answer.

In a mini-crisis and only need a one-time session? My new Mind-Set-Go hour of power is your brainstorming-to-solution choice! Click Mind-Set-Go.

Don’t want to miss a blog/newsletter? Sign up here.

Join my Free Facebook group, The Midlife Manifest, where we’re talking about how to own this life chapter, here.

Have you downloaded my gift to you e-book? Click Keep It Movin’

 

 

Getting To Your Yes!

“...Do not stop asking your question. It’s amazing what can happen. You can get to your YES!” ~ Producer Ken Davenport in his Tony Awards acceptance speech (Best Revival of a Musical, Once On This Island)

What is your question?

What answer would feel like a This Is My YES miracle??

My question: What’s the best way for me to help as many women as possible answer their YES?

Women who have lived, worked, loved, supported, nurtured, chased, run, and crawled through this grand experiment called Life and made it to that What About Me? stage aka midlife…

Who keep feeling that nudge to take the time to reflect, reinvent, and rock a new way of being that feels Free and based in true priority commitment…

And for whom confronting their question has moved from nudge to scream and become an imperative.

That’s my question and my passion to action is helping those women answer their question.

What’s your question? Respond to this email to tell me. I’d love to know!

HAPPY FATHERS DAY to my dad and all of the men who have provided you and/or your children with love, support, and life-lasting lessons!

How to Work With Me:

Let That S%#t Go! is my signature deep and life-changing six month mastermind for midlife-thrivers ready to rewire and create their What About Me? life chapter. It starts in September and you can sign up right now! Schedule a Discovery Call to get the details, here.

Join my Midlife Manifest facebook group, here. I’m doing a free Coaching Salon on Thursdays where you can get answers to your burning coaching questions, but you have to be in the group to participate (be sure to answer the three question prompts to be added).

Be Generous:

If you love my blogs, share the love! Forward to like-minded women and ask them to join the list so they don’t miss out. I appreciate your support and love getting your comments!!

 

 

Are You Savoring or Settling?

“You’re killing my vibe. I’m coming back by myself tomorrow.” (said to a friend while dining in one of my favorite restaurants)

Let me back up up a bit. I’m 59 and at 50, I began tightening some boundaries. These are the thrive years. More freedom. More flexibility. And an acknowledgment of how arbitrary life can be. I don’t live in fear of disability, death, or disaster, but I do work hard to not take the blessing of my now for granted.

So I’m much more protective of my space. I chose to stop sharing hotel rooms at 50 because I need to detach and regroup at the end of the day. And I stopped attempting to convince people to love what I love. Which is why I opted out of returning to the restaurant with my friend. It wasn’t so much about the friend, whom I love to pieces. It was that this particular restaurant is a special dining treat for me…one that I’m only able to have once or twice a year. Restaurant outings for me are typically as much about the company as the food and I’m pretty neutral on how the experience goes down. But this one is my ‘treat yo self’ exception. If friends enjoy it, YAY! But if not, Bye! I want only positive energy. LOL

Everything ain’t for everybody. ~ Jill Scott

I let go of dragging Mr. Washington to places that he has no interest in because it only makes us both miserable. I let go of trying to convince friends that they should join a particular experience with me.

I want to savor and soak up as many PME’s (positive memorable experiences) as possible. It’s the rare loved one who’s one-size-fits-all for our desire closet. And I’m being more conscious of not being the vibe killer for others.

What experience do you deny yourself or enjoy less than you could because you’re doing it with someone who isn’t feeling it like you do? How often are you settling to accommodate other’s needs at the expense of your own? When will you Let That S%#t Go?

Yes, sometimes compromise is optimal, but if you’re settling more than savoring…feeling more drained than LIT UP!…

Let That S%#t Go!

It’s time to savor.

c.René
c.ReneCoach.com

How to Work With Me:

Let That S%#t Go! is a deep and life-changing six month experience for midlife thrivers ready to rewire and create their What About Me? life chapter. It starts in September and full details will be shared in a few weeks.

Respond to this email to be placed on the interest list OR join my Midlife Manifesters Facebook group (be sure to answer the three question prompts), here.