Black DOES Crack!

After a long corporate career coaching men and women, I chose to focus solely on women in my own business. I love men (especially Mr. Washington), but I do believe the future is female. That women CO-operating in the fullness of our value, vision, and purpose will flip this world on it’s head and shake out much of what ails it.

Today, I’m tightening my focus a little more to speak to my melanin sisters. I spent the past few days drenched in civil rights history while attending the Equal Justice Initiative Peace Summit and opening of the Legacy Museum and The National Museum for Peace and Justice. It is the manifestation of the incomparable Bryan Stevenson’s vision to acknowledge and honor those who were the targets of the horror that is lynching.

In one of the seminars, there was a discussion re the often unacknowledged (even by us) weight that black women carry as recipients of racism and as the primary supporters of loved ones experiencing  the impact of racism. I also happened to listen to an episode of the excellent Therapy For Black Girls podcast titled, Shedding Super Woman Status. All women can benefit from taking a listen  to it, but I want to specifically address the resistance in the black community to seeking therapy and the double-edged sword of strong black womanhood we times precariously, by simply saying this:

Stop it.

It’s common for my white female clients to hire me for coaching while also going to therapy. I’ve gone through therapy to deal with issues during my first marriage, including my own case of superwoman-itis. There was a year during that time when I functioned on a bare minimum of sleep, all while still handling my business. Nobody wears a mask as well as a black woman! No one knew what I was going through. I hid my stress so well, the full impact was even hidden from me. At one point, I did think it might be good to talk to someone, went to a therapist and was made to feel that I was complaining about matters of little importance. That I was ungrateful. I share this not to discourage seeking therapy, but to encourage finding the right therapist. Because after that experience, I retreated in shame back to my private hell and several months later ended up in the hospital after a mini-stroke.

Black women carry normal life stressors PLUS the stressors connected to living in a still and in some ways, increasingly blatant racist society as documented in this article and this one. I girlfriend and I talked about being terrified by a police traffic stop now, something that had only been irritating in the past. We keep a reel in our heads of non-ending innocent black people being shot or jailed for no good damn reason.

I’m not serving up hopelessness here. I’m promoting awareness and taking self-care action that truly works for you. Don’t be afraid of therapy. I love Jesus! My faith is my foundation AND I can respect mental health and coaching professionals in addition to pastoral support. I can’t imagine life without my girlfriends AND I know that sometimes I need more than a girls night out or their always tough-loving and sympathetic ear.

Whatever demographic box we check, there will probably come a time when we need help: from family, from friends, and yes, from a professional. We need to get comfortable with asking, seeking, getting. As a coach I work with the ‘worried well’. Life coaching is typically focused on attaining a specific tangible goal (getting work you love, better relationships, implementing a passion project, etc.) and is future-oriented. Therapy goals are connected to deep anxiety and/or trauma and can focus extensively on the past and of course, coaches don’t prescribe medication. There is some overlap and determining which path works best for you (and again, doing both isn’t uncommon) is worth…well, Your Life.

If your issues are beyond the recovery scope of  retail therapy, spa visits, travel, girls nights out, etc., Get Off The Resistance Bus and get yourself to a therapist and/or life coach…STAT!

That’s the true strength and courage path.

Traveling with a Fab group of women is one of my favorite things to do and that’s why I’ve do coaching retreats. I’m moving my business in a different direction and I DON’T WANT YOU TO MISS OUT ON MY LAST RETREAT! It’s one of the BEST OPPORTUNITIES you’ll see this year get ‘move you forward’ coaching in a relax and release location. It’s TIME TO COMMIT, Ladies! I reduced the price and it’s truly a great deal and an even better deal if you bring a girlfriend. Stop dithering and…

Press here to sign yourself up!  Today.

A girlfriend and I are taking great advantage of our Movie Pass cards and have a standing Saturday movie date (hubby just got a card and I’ll being doing movie dates with him too.). This week we saw A Quiet Place and gave it two thumbs up. Neither of us are horror movie fans, but this one is well done: not too graphic…more mess-with-your-mind fear than gruesomeness.

Spring seems to have finally arrived after a too long lingering winter. YAY!!!! Enjoy!

c.René Washington

Check me out at


Are You Overloading Your Band

I didn’t load my band.

The band I’m referencing is the wristband I was given with my pass to the jazz festival I was attending. Cash or credit cards wouldn’t be accepted. You were supposed to load money on your wristband…$100 was the suggested starting amount…and the band would be swiped for food and vendor purchases.

The level ticket I bought included lunch, dinner and beverages and I saw no reason to load the band with more money.  I was there to enjoy the company of wonderful girlfriends, listen to great jazz, and chill on the beach. While I’m not opposed to a little retail therapy, loading the card would have put me in a space outside of my intention.

Do you unnecessarily overload your ‘band’ as in  bandwidth?

Are you outside of your intentions?

Do you add unnecessary distractions that only serve to weigh you down?

Saying no to what someone else thinks you should have could be the ticket to your Saying Yes to more of what you really want.

Yes to patio time with your life love.

No to piling on a another volunteer assignment you’ll secretly resent.

Yes to starting that book you’ve been wanting to write.

No to that promotion that may stroke your ego but will suck all of the air out of your life.

Yes to relationships that grow with you.

No to relationships that work against you.

Focus your attention on your intention and watch what happens!


Ways to work with me:

It’s Decision Time for The Design The Life You Love Retreat!! Here’s a little video mesage about it,

And Don’t miss the  New Pricing!

In a mini-crisis and only need a one-time session? My new Mind-Set-Go hour of power is your brainstorming to solution choice! 

Have you downloaded my gift to you e-book?





I Couldn’t Find My Car!

I couldn’t find my car.

For 20 minutes.

In a rainstorm.

My girlfriend and I exited the movie theater after seeing Beirut (recommended!), said our goodbyes, and I started my parking lot trek of drenched confusion. At around minute 15, I call my friend for company in said confusion and she (one of my ride-or-dies) returned to help her soaked buddy look. After the fourth aisle and no sign of my car, I knew it had been stolen…which would have been a totally odd and random occurrence. We went down the fifth aisle and there it was! How did I get so confused??

Now while confusion is not a foreign feeling for me, I was a little surprised at being so far off in remembering my car location. And it validated some changes I’m making…my own mindset reset re adding more fun and more chill in my life. I’m…

  • Reclaiming my time and my mind. I love my work and recently realized I’d love it more by instituting and staying on a schedule. I ran late to the movie because I was trying to get one more thing done, which kept me from…
  • Paying attention. Running around like a headless chicken means I can’t focus on what I’m doing and you can’t remember what you haven’t seen. Cars get lost. LOL!
  • Paying attention. Doing more of what lights me up: time with Mr. Washington, non-biz related reading, jigsaw puzzles, girlfriend outings and trips, library visits, catching up on Outlander!
  • Paying attention. Better self-care.: more sleep, knee repair so I can get my move and groove back.
  • Eliminating overwhelm. As the rain soaked further and further up my pant legs, it reminded me of the stress creep we allow in our lives. Stay vigilant about your oxygen mask, women!

All is well. I didn’t melt.

Ways to work with me (BE SURE TO CHECK THE RETREAT DEAL!): 

Did you download my e-book?

What I’m drooling over: Crabby Wyatt’s Crabcakes (Thanks Delores Simmons!),

What I’m listening to: Luvvie Ajayi’s Rants & Randomness podcast (the Jenifer Lewis interview…Rise UP Queens!),

What I’m reading: Year of YES by Shonda Rhimes AND my beautiful friend, Kathe Crawford’s new speak-to-your-soul book on how a secret can color every aspect of your life, Unlocking Secrets. Download a free chapter, then pre-order this book!

What I’m watching: Too much! LOL But one of my fave new shows is Good Girls. The three stars have the best chemistry and I’m in to see when their life of crime finally crashes down on them. And The Americans finale airs this week. A phenomenal and oh so timely show!






Design The Life You Love

Hello Beautiful!

One of my biggest life highlights was turning 50. I’ve always loved getting older. Every new year represents (hopefully!) more wisdom, more experiences, more ?? (I stay open). And 50 was my ‘you should have it all together’ by then marker. Why am I tripping down birthday memory lane? Because next year is my 60th and that ‘should’ have it all together stuff? Ha! Dr. Martha Beck (read her always spot on column in O Magazine) wrote an article I reference frequently on the Power of Change,  which for most of us is a continuous cycle.

And what I know for sure? We’re always changing and that’s ok because Life is always changing. As Martha notes, there’s power in change.

And what I’ve learned about those changes? They come to teach us and my fifties taught me to become a quicker-on-the-draw learner. To Let My S%#t Go! and close that gap between what I say I want and what I’m allowing myself to have.

I celebrated turning 50 for 18 months. Yep…18! And to kick off a 15 month trek to my next decade, I’m doing new pricing on the Design The Life You Love Retreat, May 31-June 3 in St. Petersburg, FL:

Retreat Details, click this link,

The Girlfriend Deal: $2150 You and your friend pay $1750 each (a $400 savings!)*

Coming Alone Deal: $2150 You pay $1850 ($300 savings!)*

Remember, this is NOT simply a trip to Florida. It’s an I want to…

– clear my confusion and get a concrete plan for my next life chapter

– create a plan for reclaiming my time for more fun or to write that book

– take action on getting work I love or great girlfriends

– Relax and regroup with a bigger purpose

Yes, a lot of coaching and life planning (with post retreat follow-up) AND a lot of fun!

Back to 50, which I celebrated like I’d won the birthday lottery! For my official kickoff, I took several of my best girlfriends on a FunFab beach trip to Florida. Before and after that trip, I did NYC play trips, had an Eat Dessert First party (a ridiculous sugar-fest), went to the Oprah show (twice!), did a Savannah road trip with my mom…whatever caught my fancy. 18 months of celebrating that culminated the day before I turned 51 with a New Orleans-style second line parade in a local park with live musicians and we topped that off with a dinner at a fave, fancy restaurant.

So, you don’t want to miss this retreat! Only 9 slots available.

*To receive the Special Pricing, send email to Girlfriends must pay at the same time.

c.René Washington

I Want The Cake, Not The Crumbs!

Hello Beautiful!

I did a Facebook post in honor of Maya Angelou’s birthday and it’s still with me (click here to read). Probably because my teleclass, Let That S#%t Go! started this past week and the first module focus is Who Am I?

Regarding the previously mentioned FB post, who I was then was a “young on-the-way-to-becoming” woman who was crumbling under the weight of perceived expectations. The oldest. The smart one. The ??

There have been soooo many twisty-turny paths between then and now and to quote Ms. Maya again, “I wouldn’t take nothing for my journey!”

EVERYTHING that came before…good, bad, ugly, beautiful…brought me to Who I Am today:

  • A woman who loves her perfectly imperfect self.
  • A woman who has designed (and isn’t afraid to tweak) a live free/love hard life.
  • A woman who goes after the cake, not the crumbs! (Got that phrase from this message from powerhouse, Arlan Hamilton.

I’ve gotten to this point with a lot of course-correcting, mindset-resetting and Letting S%#t Go! and that’s ok.  Mistakes are simply information and NOTHING is wasted!

What’s your cake of choice?

If you’re ready for a life redesign and you’d love doing it in a fantabulous location, mark your calendar for May 31 – June 3. That’s when 10 amazing women will experience my FINAL  retreat…emphasis on TREAT, Design The Life You Love in St. Petersburg, FL!

Since by business will focus on different offerings in the future, this last retreat is going to be The Best! Loads of personalized coaching, fun, and the option to be as chill or as connected as you want. It’s NOT a trip to Florida with a little coaching thrown in. It’s a life-changing coaching package that includes coaching during and post-retreat combined with a relax and release travel experience. Check out this link with details. Stay tuned for my ‘sweetening the pot’ offer coming Tuesday!

Here’s a little gift I created for you. It’s a quote e-book, Keep It Movin’: Word Fuel for Your Journey.  Pull it up whenever you need an ‘I got this!’ reminder. ♥️♥️♥️

If you love these blog messages, Share The Love and forward to other women who will benefit. Appreciate you!

c.René Washington

Master Certified Coach and Mindset Maven