Yep…You Need A Divorce

Hello Beautiful!

That’s right.  You need a divorce but, don’t worry.  I’m not telling you to leave your partner. I am telling you to leave your attachment to outcome.

Every behavior results in a consequence. Even doing nothing is consequential so, I’m not suggesting that you shouldn’t have any expectations about results.  I’m referring to a tunnel-vision focus on a particular outcome that keeps us on the struggle bus and blocks our best path to getting what we want.

Have you heard someone say (or experienced yourself), “Losing that job was the best thing that could have happened to me!” Why?  Because getting fired or laid off cleared the path for them to stop clinging to what was wrong for them and to get moving toward what was right for them.

Holding on for dear life seems like the right thing to do because:

  • It’s a ‘good job’.
  • This relationship is better than being alone.
  • I’ve invested a lot of time and money to get here.

One of my clients left her good job, started her own business and was highly successful her first year in. She was very grateful, but knew something was still missing. Once again, she explored her options, staying tuned in to what intuitively felt right, not what appeared to be right.  Hallelujah! She landed in a partnership that hits all of her quality of life markers and lights her up in the best way.

Did she question herself on going through all of the machinations of starting a business (her original desired outcome) then closing it relatively quickly? Yep!

Did she believe she was ‘til death us do part’ tied to her original said outcome? I’m her coach so, nope!

Are you with me? Here’s how to divorce your ‘I feel stuck’ outcome and marry your BEST outcome:

1. Get crystal clear on your ideal life.

2. Identify and manage the mindset blocks that are keeping you from that life you crave. Let that S%#t go!

3. Move, Pivot, Get Still, Move, Pay Attention, Course-Correct, Move.

4. Ask for help. Invest in help.

5. Live Your Life!

Next week I’m doing a Free Live Webinar on what blocks us from living our dream life, The 7 Deadly DreamLife Blockers.  I’ve highlighted some above. Join me for the rest.  I’d LOVE your support because it’s MY FIRST WEBINAR! Here’s the link. Click it to register yourself and share it with others.  It’s MY FIRST WEBINAR and I want to feel ALL The Love! 😊



Unbuttered popcorn is my jam.  Yes, I said No butter! I wore out my faithful air popper, bought a new (and different) one and it’s the bomb.corn! In two minutes, you get crunchy yummy popcorn (and the unpopped kernels can be re-popped). Check out the Powerwave Popper, here.

Enjoy an On and Poppin’ week!


I really want that bag…

“I really want that bag, but I shouldn’t get it.”

I was with a group of women and one of them said this in reference to a designer bag she had her eye on at Saks.

“Don’t you go to work every day?”, I asked. “Yes, but it costs $2000.00.”, she replied.

”Can you afford it?” “Yes.”

”Then why deny yourself?” “Yes! Why am I?”

I don’t know if she bought the bag, but I do know about women denying themselves really important things that are absolutely within their capability to have: work they love, friendships that are fun and supportive, completing that passion project that’s been on the back burner, more time with their partner in life and love or with their children.

What does a handbag do? It holds the things we (believe we) need to get us through the day, right? A plain, functional bag can handle that perfectly fine. Carrying those necessities in a designer bag adds some pep to our step! We appreciate the quality and attention to detail that goes into the making of the bag and the cost adds to the perceived value.

If you applied the designer bag prototype to designing YOUR LIFE…stamped an upgrade on it with your own initials…what would it look like? What would change? What would be in your bag?

STOP denying yourself the answers!

Next week, there are two opportunities to attend my FREE webinar, The 7 Deadly DreamLife Blockers.  I’ll be sharing the junk you need to empty from your ‘bag’ and what you’ll ALWAYS want to carry in it. Click here to register.  Hope you can join me! And do share the link with women you think would benefit.


Some Fab women are planning to join me in St. Petersburg May 31 – June 3 for the Design The Life You Love Retreat. Don’t miss out on being one of the 10 smart women who attend. You get FOUR individual post-retreat sessions with me ($1400 value), which means that for the cost of the aforementioned designer bag, you get to have a fabulous getaway plus a redesigned life! Click here for details.

Women give me a litany of reasons why they can’t have what they want AND often express guilt for even wanting it. Join the happy group of women who’ve worked with me and 180’d their lives.

P.S. Thanks for the great responses to last week’s blog, What She Said! In case you missed it, here’s the link.

P.P.S. I’m in major movie viewing mode: two thumbs (and all fingers) up for “Black Panther” and “Three Billboards”! Also been watching the classic Oscar movies on TCM (“Being There”, “Last Picture Show” and “Separate Tables” are a few of the standouts). What’s been your February jam?



What She Said…

One of my Front Row Friends (Vivian) is mom to three beautiful, walk-it-like-they-were-raised daughters… one (Jordan), is dealing with breast cancer with an ‘I choose to rise above it’ approach that the word ‘inspiring’ doesn’t fully capture.

This radiant ‘in the midst of it all’ pic is Jordan with her daughter Sydney aka Sugar Baby.

Jordan is a 31 yr. old woman, child of God, wife, mom, daughter, sister, friend and attorney. She’s been through chemo, surgery, and hair loss and graciously gave me permission to share an excerpt from her latest update. Let her words sink in deeply.

Jordan said, “…Exercise: Still crushing it at the gym 💪🏾. Some of the ladies call me “Arms” because my muscles are coming in quite nicely. 😂😂😂.

What I’ve Learned: It’s ok to be a little selfish. Being selfish doesn’t make you any less supportive, giving or caring. It doesn’t make you any less of a wife/husband/partner, mother/father, sister/brother or friend. In fact, I think it makes you better, because you have taken time to pour back into yourself in some way. What I’m most selfish with right now is my gym time. I don’t miss training in the gym unless I absolutely have to (deadline at work or Syd) and I’m unapologetic about it. I feel energized, it makes me happy, and I love how my body is starting to look.

Before my life was jolted out of whack, I was so focused on being dutiful, doing things because they are expected, without regard for myself. While I always love to exceed people’s expectations of me, some of those things I was doing at the expense of myself. I’m working on finding the appropriate balance, and it’s been nice. I feel like a much better person each day, because I take time to pour back into myself.

So, be a little selfish. Unapologetically so. It’s good for you and everyone you love, because you’ll be left with more to give them if you feel full.”

If this resonates, Pay Attention. Make it your Call To Action.

What are you resisting being “a little selfish” about?

Let that s%#t go!

Choose the thing, then…

Do it!

The Love Post

Hello Beautiful!

LOVE is one of my favorite words. I don’t think you can have too much good LOVE in your life! I know there’s the belief that inanimate objects can’t be loved, but my take on that is the inanimate is loved because it connects to the animate, through memory and experience. One of my current inanimate loves: Gelarto Salted Caramel Gelato (it’s creamy goodness makes me happy and since it’s straight from Turin, Italy, it reminds me of my wonderful trip to Italy with Mr. Washington…My Person).

I’m grateful that I can CHOOSE the people I spend most of my time with and that the choosing is based in LOVE. Recently, I heard yet another story about a woman who has no girlfriends. Connecting romantically with someone can be complex (thankfully, not impossible), but I believe every woman needs at least one great girlfriend…and a few more are even better.  For me, life would truly be miserable without mine!

This is the month we place extra emphasis on the LOVE thang. I hope you have the best LOVE relationships in ALL categories and if you don’t, I hope you make the choices and decisions that will get you there. Start with Self-Love. It expands your capacity for giving and receiving LOVE. Promise!

Enjoy the LOVE Month. Appreciate the LOVE you have. Open yourself to receive more. LOVE up on yourself throughout the year. And know that I do LOVE and appreciate YOU!

If a certain someone in your life would LOVE doing something special for you, I have the perfect thing: The Design The Life You Love Retreat gift certificate. And I do highly recommend self-gifting! LOL

P.S. Here’s a list of my (mostly) inanimate love jams,

P.P.S. Did you see the Feb. 1st airing of Grey’s Anatomy? It’s a great stand-alone episode about the character Miranda Baily going through various iterations of LOVE (self-care, family, friendship, romantic) and showing the importance of taking a stand for one’s self…particularly with people who are conditioned to NOT listen you. Worth watching!


Get Your Mind Right!

“The truth will set you free, but you have to endure the labor pains of birthing it.” ~ Iyanla Vanzant

Woo Sa! As ‘they say’, she ain’t never lied!! I haven’t birthed a baby, but I have labored through many forms of change. What I know for sure:

Successful change is not sustainable without a strong mindset foundation.

Going inside, connecting to your internal compass, and acting on what lights you up while taming mental gremlins that want to derail you…that’s the not-so-secret key to getting…

  • work you love
  • the relationship you dream about
  • a healthy body and lifestyle
  • that passion project up and running
  • the life you crave

”If your dream only includes you, it’s too small.” ~ Unknown

“Fear is an ancient detection system. Update your brain for modern times and make success your dominant thought.” ~The Neuroscientist

Two of my biggest passions are living my purpose and coaching women to choose to live theirs.



Yes, there’s a lot of work (some of it tough) between those two words and there is no more worthy endeavor. The best dreams benefit many. Look at that! It’s not selfish to live your dream, it’s a disservice not to! 🙌🏾



P.S. I’m so serious about providing the best mindset coaching possible, that I’m getting a NeuroCoach designation from a group of neuroscientists! Excited to share what I’ll be learning about improving emotional intelligence, brain health, productivity, memory, and creativity with you!

P.P.S. If you’re ready to get serious about getting that life you say you want, you’ll want to join my next teleclass, Let That S#%t Go! Schedule your free Life Strategy session to get the details plus get at least one action item to improve your life, NOW!  You can also click here to get information about my Design The Life You Love Retreat. Payment plans are available for both, so stop dithering and jump on it!

P.P.P.S. I did my first podcast interview! It’s with my friend and Fab money coach, Katrina McGhee. Have a listen,



It’s A Love Thang

Hello Beautiful!

Happy February. It’s the month of Love, Black History, and Chocolate. Yessss!!

Speaking of love, I LOVE mindset coaching because I love words. Their function. Their beauty. Their ugly. Their power. And when you get to the crux of it, mindset is words. Words that form thoughts. Thoughts that become feelings. Feelings that become actions. Actions that become results which lead to more thoughts and the continuation of the cycle. Stuff happens and we tell ourselves stories about it. Stories that work for us or against us. When those stories spin into negativity, malaise, or pain, I help flip that script to get you on the “stories that work for us” train.

BIG THANKS to the Desire Mappers in my recent virtual workshop. They did the work (so many aha’s, realizations, & epiphanies),  discovered their Core Desired Feelings and they’re translating them into…

A New Way To Be…Do…Live…Love.

“Awesome sessions! Thanks for gifting us with your wisdom and leading us to the light.” ~ Tonya Allen (happy workshop participant)

And check out this GAWGEOUS vision board, created by workshop participant Linda Quarles!! This will keep her Core Desired Feelings (CDF’s) top of mind!

If you’d love to flip your script the Design The Life You Love Retreat is for YOU!  It’s an experience filled with the power of masterful mindset coaching with the added bonus of being set in a gorgeous location. Click here to get yourself there.

Travel not your thing? Timing’s not right? My next teleclass, Let That S%#t Go! starts in March. It’s limited to 15 “ready to be about it” women. If that’s YOU, let’s talk. Schedule your free Life Strategy session to get the details and leave the call with at least one action item to improve your life, NOW!

Seeing women I coach get fulfilling jobs, start businesses, leave bad relationships, and take stands for themselves in big and small ways, Lights. Me. Up.

Yep, it’s a Love Thang.