It is so easy to compare ourselves to others, for better and for worse. Sometimes we compare ourselves to somebody else, and we come out on the short end: we’re not as wealthy, or as well-traveled, or as well-known. Other times, we judge others and think that we’re superior to them, or that our way of doing things is the only way to do them.
These are all false comparisons, my friend, and you have to let that shit go. Comparison is a trap that limits us and our growth. It doesn’t serve us and it doesn’t serve other people either. It’s important to be aware of the comparison traps that pull us in to thinking that we’re not good enough, or that we’re better than others.
People commonly ask, “What would you tell your 21-year-old self?” They might substitute in some other age – 18, 30, 40, etcetera – but the question is almost always a backward-looking one. While it’s not a bad idea to consider what advice we’d give to our younger selves, we sometimes forget about the amazing stories we could tell our older selves, too!
I love the question, “What would you tell your 99-year-old self?” because it reminds us to live life as fully as possible right now. There’s nothing wrong with reminiscing on old memories from high school or our other younger years – but life isn’t over for us yet. There’s tons of time left to take advantage of all the joy and deliciousness that life has to offer.
Whew! A few days ago, I returned home from an epically spectacular 15-day celebration of my upcoming 60th birthday. I and (at varying points) 9-11 FAB girlfriends + one FAB friend’s FAB daughter, laughed, explored, ate, shopped, and remained in a constant state of amazement traveling through Paris, Sarlat, and Marrakech. Exhausted, Yes! And wonderfully forever changed. Too many highlights to detail to here, but best believe I’ll be talking about them for months to come. Indulge me. LOL
On March 30, 2017, I published the original blog titled Who Said. It featured the phenomenal Tao Porchon Lynch, the world’s oldest yoga teacher (101!!). My message was about ditching old paradigms that no longer serve you to flow freely in your unique desires.
One huge paradigm I ditched is thinking I have to always be comfortable to be happy. Yes, I have some foundational comfort requirements, but I’ve also learned that getting comfortable with being uncomfortable is the ticket for feeling F.E.A.R. (False Evidence Appearing Real) and doing The Thing anyway! I didn’t let F.E.A.R. keep me from…
investing a year out in Tracey Friley Travel’s Josephine Baker-themed trip to France and Morocco…
trusting that inviting my girlfriends to go with me on a two week trip would be well and end well (we’re already talking about the next adventure!)…
planning my own birthday parade and party in Paris, a city I’d never visited (it was FANTABULOUS!)…
hiring a band (recommended but still) unknown to me (they rocked it OUT!)…
wearing a mini dress for that party (see pic above), driving an ATV, walking through streets during a holy feast day in which goat heads and bodies were being chopped, charred, and fleeced!
Recently, I saw this Zig Zigler quote,
“F-E-A-R has two meanings: ‘Forget Everything And Run’ or ‘Face Everything And Rise’. The choice is yours.”
This woman is RISING. And I want ya’ll to RISE with me! Who Said you can’t??
P.S. As you can see, I’m in over-the-top mode for this milestone birthday and if you’re a Woman Ready To Redefine and Rise, then…
you want to jump on an over-the-top opportunity to be coached by me for 60 days at a ‘never coming again’ investment of $600!! I’m only taking 24 women (1959 birth year equals 24) and you must be qualified to be sure it’s a great fit for both of us. We start September 1 and end November 8. Respond ‘I’m Ready! to this email to get full details.
listen to the new podcast, Midlife Woman Redefined for a weekly injection of how to Rise and Fly! Click here to listen and subscribe!
When I woke up this morning, I took a few minutes to really take a good look at what has led me to this point in my life. How on earth did I get where I am today, talking to all of you listeners on this show? Then I realized, I’ve created my own recipe for what I want, and I’ve honed it over time to be perfect for me.
When I first started cooking, I used to stick to a recipe by the letter. I’d get the exact ingredients from the store, and I’d get anxious if I didn’t have something on the list. Somebody’s telling me how to do it, why should I mess with that? Well, following someone’s instructions word for word might get you their perfect cake, bit it ain’t always going to be the perfect cake for you.
Since August 2, I’ve been in a constant state of awe. Maybe you’ve heard, that I’m celebrating my 60th year on a FANTABULOUS trip to France to Morocco…and 12 girlfriends are with me for some or all of the trip. In Paris, a band I hired, danced us to our dinner boat down the Seine River…all a surprise to my girlfriends. Yes, I throw my own parties!
And that’s only ONE ah-mazing jaw-dropping event we’ve enjoyed! My vocabulary fails me in describing the awesomeness of this experience, but what doesn’t escape me is this:
Many of you reading this blog are aching for Joy, Ah-mazing, and Wonderful to knock on your door. Well, let me clear this up for you right now:
They aren’t coming! You have to choose them. You have to get out of your own way and grab them!
So because I’m tremendously GRATEFUL for being well enough down the Let Your Shxt Go road to choose Joy, Ah-mazing, and Wonderful for MY life…
And because I’m GRATEFUL for the clients who work with me to choose it for THEIRS…
And because I’m BEYOND BLESSED to crack another decade, excited about what more Ah-mazingness is waiting on me…
I’m doing a one-time Get Your Life NOW! coaching birthday offer that won’t be seen again:
60 DAYS of COACHING FOR $600!!!!
Shhhh…don’t tell my business coach, Rachel Rodgers! She’ll slam me for charging below my regular investment. This is NOT about devaluing, though.
It’s about my remembering my journey to freeing my mind and seeing my life follow! It’s about wanting to help more women do the same.
My coaching changes lives. The value on that is priceless. The $600 (normally $3200) for 60 Days is my birthday gift to a few great women.
I’m only doing it for 24 TAKE-ACTION WOMEN (if you love whine with your cheese, don’t respond).
So jump quick! Why 24? Because I was born in 1959 and the digits add up to 24.
What you get:
– 4 one-to-one calls with me (two per/month,1 hour duration)
– Text/email access to me during business hours (you’re getting concierge coaching for TWO MONTHS!)
– A life-changing Action Plan
– A time frame that keeps you on track (60 days must be completed between September 1 – November 14)
How you get it:
– Respond to this email, saying Yes! Now’s my time!
– Respond to the short questionnaire you’ll be sent.
– If approved (I’m serious about only working with Take Action women!), you’ll receive an invoice and a scheduling link.
Get a Kick-Ass coach for 60 days for $600??!! If you’re serious about getting that life you keep saying you want, then THIS is the sign you’ve been waiting on.
Don’t F.E.A.R. yourself out of ending 2019 and stepping in to 2020 like,
P.S. Are you listening to The Midlife Woman Redefined podcast? If you aren’t, fix that now! Click here.
When is the last time you checked in with yourself about what you really want? Many women in midlife realize that habits, obligations, and thought patterns have piled up over the years that are no longer the right fit (if they ever were!). This is why so many of us get the urge to leave jobs we no longer like, stop spending time with people who drain us, or shake up our routines in midlife.
But if we want to actually make these changes, we first have to bring awareness to our everyday lives and notice what we’re still doing that we no longer want to do. We have to get clear on what lights us up – what makes us feel passionate and excited – and what makes us feel dragged down and heavy. And I’ve got some tools to help you do this!
Before I walk on the stage, I have this pit in my belly. It tightens and pushes against something inside of me. I want to walk away (wait I really want to run away) because I’m not sure I can do this in front of this group of people. I don’t know if they will nod and affirm my words. I don’t know if the audience is going to look at me like I’m crazy. I stand there, and I wonder if I should do this. Then, I cuss aloud.
Eff—-this. I’m not giving in to this fear.
I walked out onto the stage and delivered my five-minute story like a fearless and magical midlife maven.
A week later, I was featured on a television show to promote my podcast.
Right now, I’m in Paris celebrating my 6th decade.
In a few months, I will travel across the sea to another continent to share this journey of living happier with a group of amazing women.
It’s all because I decided to unfriend FEAR and block her access to my brain and my body.
After years of working on this fear mindset that would attempt to take over my body and talk me out of my destiny and happiness more often than not, I am finally saying Eff- FEAR. If you’ve never met fear, you’re a lucky woman. However, if you know fear like I do, you understand the trauma and drama fear can bring into your life. Fear is the lame frenemy who doesn’t want you to do more, live better, and be happier because you’ll have to leave her behind.
F.E.A.R. (false evidence appearing real) will have you living in a proverbial cardboard box if you don’t tell her to sit down and shut up. The box that fear keeps you in says you have to stay at that job until you turn 65. The box that fear keeps you in says you have to hold onto those friendships that side-eye you for wanting to travel the world. That box that says you can’t live out your dreams because you’re past some magical age (Lie!!)
So, how do you get out of the BOX, unfriend F.E.A.R., and STOP living small?
1. Release the norms of society. 65 (or whatever # you’re ‘shoulding’ yourself) is not the age that activates true living. That age is whatever number you want it to be.
2. Start thinking BIGGER. If you think you would like to travel to Jamaica, turn that into a bigger vision of traveling to every Caribbean island within six months.
3. Drop the naysayers. If you have friends who tell you of all the things that could go wrong, drop them. Yep, I said it. Drop them. We want to surround ourselves with solution-focused individuals, not naysayers.
4. Take a RISK! The only way to get out of the box is to JUMP, LEAP, DIVE, & FALL. Yep, I said fall…ALL of these actions will mean you may fall…and that’s fine.