Sometimes in life, we think things are going great, but then we get a little surprise – something we did not see coming. That’s an emotional flag on the play of our lives. I want to preface this whole episode by saying that I am not a football fan, but this is the perfect metaphor for what I’ve got for you today.

I was in a situation recently where a medical professional informed me of my weight. This might sound familiar to you too. I was heavier than I anticipated, and all of a sudden, my thoughts exploded. I was left thinking about everything I had done wrong, every decision I had made that contributed to this number on the scale, and what it meant about me as a person. This is the worst train of thought I could have gotten on at this point.

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I told you all a couple of weeks ago about my amazing trip to celebrate my 60^th birthday, and I’m still riding that high. However, when I returned, I did have to go see my physician about some issues I encountered while traveling. I’ll say now, it turned out to be nothing serious, but it did provide me with a little bit of perspective.

As we reach midlife, it can be easy to let the things that give our life passion start to slip away. We don’t always want to, but all we see are limitations. That is not something I want for myself, and it definitely isn’t something I want for you.

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It is so easy to compare ourselves to others, for better and for worse. Sometimes we compare ourselves to somebody else, and we come out on the short end: we’re not as wealthy, or as well-traveled, or as well-known. Other times, we judge others and think that we’re superior to them, or that our way of doing things is the only way to do them.

These are all false comparisons, my friend, and you have to let that shit go. Comparison is a trap that limits us and our growth. It doesn’t serve us and it doesn’t serve other people either. It’s important to be aware of the comparison traps that pull us in to thinking that we’re not good enough, or that we’re better than others.

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People commonly ask, “What would you tell your 21-year-old self?” They might substitute in some other age – 18, 30, 40, etcetera – but the question is almost always a backward-looking one. While it’s not a bad idea to consider what advice we’d give to our younger selves, we sometimes forget about the amazing stories we could tell our older selves, too!

I love the question, “What would you tell your 99-year-old self?” because it reminds us to live life as fully as possible right now. There’s nothing wrong with reminiscing on old memories from high school or our other younger years – but life isn’t over for us yet. There’s tons of time left to take advantage of all the joy and deliciousness that life has to offer. 

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When I woke up this morning, I took a few minutes to really take a good look at what has led me to this point in my life. How on earth did I get where I am today, talking to all of you listeners on this show? Then I realized, I’ve created my own recipe for what I want, and I’ve honed it over time to be perfect for me.

When I first started cooking, I used to stick to a recipe by the letter. I’d get the exact ingredients from the store, and I’d get anxious if I didn’t have something on the list. Somebody’s telling me how to do it, why should I mess with that? Well, following someone’s instructions word for word might get you their perfect cake, bit it ain’t always going to be the perfect cake for you.

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When is the last time you checked in with yourself about what you really want? Many women in midlife realize that habits, obligations, and thought patterns have piled up over the years that are no longer the right fit (if they ever were!). This is why so many of us get the urge to leave jobs we no longer like, stop spending time with people who drain us, or shake up our routines in midlife.

But if we want to actually make these changes, we first have to bring awareness to our everyday lives and notice what we’re still doing that we no longer want to do. We have to get clear on what lights us up – what makes us feel passionate and excited – and what makes us feel dragged down and heavy. And I’ve got some tools to help you do this!

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Do you find yourself agonizing over decisions, going around and around in circles about what you should (or shouldn’t) do? Not only do we want to make the right choice – we fear the pain and consequences of making the wrong choice. This is especially true for my perfectionists out there, who never want to have to make a mistake or course-correct.

Making choices is an inherent part of life, and if you’re a woman in midlife, you’re probably facing some important choices right now. Stay in your corporate career for a few more years? Take a trip to the country you’ve been dreaming of? Move into a smaller, hipper, more “you” home? There’s no end to life’s choices, and it can be incredibly helpful to have tools on hand to help us make decisions with more confidence and less stress.

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If you ask yourself, “who am I?” what immediately comes to mind? Maybe you’d say you’re a mother, a wife, a corporate executive, a community leader. These can all be wonderful things, but none of them are quite the answer we’re looking for. Now I want you to ask yourself: “Who am I without all of the roles I fill and the titles I have?” That question is going to give you a very different answer.

When I work with my clients, we work together to find answers to three questions: Who am I? What do I want? And how do I get it? Today I want to explore the first question in that list and explain why it’s so important for us to be able to define ourselves without relying on our roles or titles to do it for us. To be able to describe ourselves based on our essence, rather than the jobs or obligations we hold.

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Thank you for joining me on the inaugural episode of Midlife Woman Redefined. I cannot fully express how excited I am that you are joining me in this mission to change how women in their midlife years experience this incredible life we have left.

If you are a woman who is coming out of a successful career, coming out of raising children to adulthood, being queen community volunteer, a woman who believes in the value of investing in personal development and want to now focus on prioritizing yourself and your dreams while living in purpose and passion, then this is the show for you.

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Welcome to the Midlife Woman Redefined podcast, my friends!  If you are a woman coming out of a successful career, out of raising children to adulthood, being queen community volunteer, a woman who believes in the value of investing in personal development and want to now focus on prioritizing yourself and your dreams while living in purpose and passion, then this is the show for you.

To celebrate the launch of the podcast, I’ll be giving away five $100 Amazon gift cards to some of my lucky listeners. Keep reading to find out how you can enter!

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