“Stop dithering. Start doing.” ~ c.René Washington
‘Why would anybody listen to me? I’m such a mess myself.’ This was said to me on a recent coaching call from yet another woman who told me she didn’t know what she wanted to do, then proceeded to tell me exactly what she wants to do and again, didn’t even realize it.
I know I’m sounding like a broken record (which I told you I would be in a previous blog), and it’s because I’m talking to women who are broken records. They are in pain.
The pain of confusing themselves.
The pain of lying to themselves.
The pain of inconsistency.
The pain of starting.
The pain of starting over.
The pain of not doing.
There’s a quote that says our message is in our mess. It’s the truth. I don’t coach from the top of the mountain looking down on my clients. I coach from having been in the same valleys.
This woman (who’s turning fifty) said that a friend told her she was out of time. No!
Midlife is when we have the time. Children gone or about to be. Primary career ended or coming to an end. Loads of self-knowledge (possibly suppressed, but there). More time and financial flexibility.
What we don’t have time for is worrying ourselves about time or letting fear keep us stuck.
Why not reframe your pain as a motivator instead of keeping it as the monster that keeps you from doing that thing you want to do? Example:
I recently began working with a personal trainer and becoming more selective about my eating (“You lose weight at the table and get fit at the gym.”). The first day with the trainer was killer! And I’m holding on to the memory of how painful starting over was because I don’t want to ever start consistently exercising over again. Ever.
We trick ourselves into believing that the unknown is worse than the pain we know. That’s just old programming designed to keep us supposedly safe. Don’t fall for the okey-doke.
THIS IS OUR TIME MIDLIFERS! Get about the business of making this your best life chapter. How, you ask?
1. Learn and Own who you really are. Not who you were told to be. Not who you’ll never be. WHO YOU ARE! Everything before brought you to your now. Drop your guilt and baggage and make a lemon martini out of any lemons.
2. Reframe your pain as a motivator instead of stroking it as the monster that keeps you from doing that thing you want to do?
I recently began working with a personal trainer and becoming more selective about my eating (“You lose weight at the table and get fit at the gym.”). The first day with the trainer was killer! And I’m holding on to the memory of how painful starting over was because I don’t want to ever start consistently exercising over again. Ever.
“Pain pushes you until the vision pulls you.” ~ Michael Beckwith
3. Stop worrying. Start living. Start walking.
I coached another woman who’s retired and had anxiety and confusion around what she should be doing. My suggestion was that she get comfortable with simply living…doing whatever she feels like…paying attention to what lights her up. The next week, what she’d been running from found her and she’s walking into it as an opportunity not an obligation.
Reframing works. Changing your mind, changes your life.
4. Invest in your life change. It truly is the gift to yourself that keeps on giving.
c.René
cReneCoach.com
Ready to do the work to reach those delayed/deferred dreams and goals? Join the smart and committed women who are already registered for my six month master…sistermind, Let That Sh#t Go that shows you through my signature 9-box framework, how to move past your blocks and bring those goals to fruition. We start September 20th, which will be here before you know it! Schedule a session with me to find out full details and apply for a seat at ConnectWithRene.com.
Join us here in The Midlife Manifest, my free facebook group for women living their It’s My Time chapter.
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