Choose Your Better

Neighborhood walk

On the evening of October 4th 2012, my mom and I had two brief conversations. The next morning, she died from a pulmonary embolism. Her death was unexpected and unbelievably shocking. My family…her friends…we were all devastated. I truly wanted to die with her. Couldn’t imagine being in this world without my earthly guiding light.

As we go through this pandemic, I’m reminded of how much her death consumed me, consumed my life. It was a personal life-demic. My divorce (the prior painful life-changing event) paled in comparison. When people would say good morning, I was taken aback. My mom is dead…NOTHING is good about this morning! Eventually, I adapted to a new reality, forever changed and wanting my life to honor her life…her love for me.

I’m sure most of you have (are) experienced life-demics. This pandemic is a collective life-demic and as in our personal life-demics, we have choices. Embrace what serves your best self. Eliminate what doesn’t.

Your Mindset: There is so much to fear. It’s not so much about eliminating fear as it is about moving yourself THROUGH your fears. How you message yourself (thoughts, media, people, environment) is critically important.

Your Self-care: Focus on what’s good, on being grateful. Take small daily actions that support your health and well-being. If you can’t do this alone, seek help from your circle, a life coach or a therapist. 

Your Contribution: The number one thing we can do for each other is stay in our lane.  If you’re not a first responder/frontline worker/essential business, STAY HOME! Support these heroic people by staying home and by contributing to the organizations that support them. Virtually connect to loved ones and others who are alone. 

When I collapsed in despair, my faith, family and friends brought me through. But only because I CHOSE to rise above. If you’re able to read this message, you’re able to choose your better. Choose well.

P.S. JOIN US!! Every Tuesday in April at 6pm CST – 6:30pm CST, I’m hosting, Staying In The Peak Zone in the zoom room. We’re celebrating personal wins, encouraging each other, focusing on what’s GOOD…even dancing! Save this link and join us here. If you’ve never used zoom before, make sure to click the link a few minutes early to install it on your desktop and join. You can also join the link from your smartphone/tablet or call in from a landline (you won’t have the video option from a landline).

Strengthening Your Choice Muscle

The Israelites on the very first passover had to spend the night outdoors while there was mayhem going on outside. This was a frightening night, but also a moment for reflection and deliberation and forward thinking.” ~ Karen Armstrong, writer and religious thinker

This past week I made scratch whole wheat tortillas, which I then used to make tortilla chips and bean tacos. I also celebrated a friend’s 55th birthday in a zoom room with 24 people from around the world. And in these emotional roller coaster days, I’ve been spit-fire angry at the abysmal lack of presidential leadership, filled with deep compassion and gratitude for our first responder/front-line warriors, joyful in all the creative ways people are using their gifts and talents for greater good, and mournful for friends who’ve lost loved ones to the virus and people in deep financial distress.

For busy bee Americans, being told that the most important thing we can do is stay home, can feel counterintuitive, yet for me it feels like permission I didn’t realize I needed. Oprah talks about strengthening your ‘choice muscle’ and even though our choice of movement is severely restricted, for me, it’s been wonderfully freeing.

There’s much we can worry about…clear and present danger. And in seeking (safe) ways to find peace, joy and help others, we can also choose to reflect, deliberate and think ahead to the life we want to be living post-pandemic. Listen to yourself. Strengthen your good choice muscle.

P.S. You may be out of the game, but do share with those still working the corporate jungle, This Not-To-Be-Missed FANTABULOUS opportunity to increase your value and put yourself in the driver’s seat of your career or next move! Details and Registration here for Career Triage: The Masterclass (online April 2nd) today!!

P.P.S. MARK YOUR CALENDARS! We had such a great time this week that I’m continuing each Tuesday at 6pm CST, the free Zoom gathering, Calm In The Time of Coronavirus, to share tips, laughter, and calm to get us through these interesting, life-altering times. Join us and feel free to invite any positive women you know! Here’s the join link.

Reminder: Calm In the Time Of Corona Is Tonight!

The Peak Zone

This past weekend, I joined Instagram concerts, dance parties (follow DJ D-Nice ladies if you love to move your groove thing!) and watched the Madame CJ Walker mini-series virtually with girlfriends.

Last night, I couldn’t sleep. I’m hearing reports of Covid-19-related deaths that are connected to people I know and three local, beloved restaurants closed permanently. Shxt’s getting realer and realer, but I refuse to cave to the panic zone.

“And still I rise.” ~ Maya Angelou

Each Tuesday evening at 6pm CST, I’ll be in the Zoom room with ‘rise above’ women to share, laugh, dance and encourage each other through this crisis. Join us here. I’m sharing a running list of things we can do to stay healthy and sane.

If you’ve never used zoom before, make sure to click the link a few minutes early to install it on your desktop and join. You can also join the link from your phone or call in from a landline (you won’t have the video option from a landline).

How I’m Flattening My Curve (5-minute Read)

In epidemiology, the idea of slowing a virus’ spread so that fewer people need to seek treatment at any given time is known as “flattening the curve.” ~ (source, LiveScience.com)

I was born with a small pinhole in my heart. Back then, surgery to fix it was deemed too risky so I took daily penicillin to prevent infection. I was repeatedly told that infection getting to my heart could be lethal and I morphed into a pretty serious germaphobe.

What I was also born with: an extremely introverted personality. I would cross a street to avoid making eye contact with someone. 🤦🏾‍♀️ In high school, I decided that introversion would hold me back from getting the life I wanted and learned how to tap into my social side. 

Now, being a germaphobic introvert is potentially life-saving! 😏 Not a big adjustment for me. And while that’s great from a ‘flatten the virus curve’ perspective, I’m also thinking about flattening the curve from a mental and emotional health perspective. False Fear can also be a dangerous virus.

When I chose Surrender as my word-of-the-year and BraverBolderBetter as the Midlife Woman Redefined theme, I had no idea how on point that would be.

To keep the fear virus flattened, I’m staying focused on what I can control:

  • Staying home
  • Staying informed through good sources
  • Staying healthy so as not to overload our health system 
  • Staying connected to family, friends, clients
  • Staying connected to my coaches to keep doing the internal work 

My Braver choice: Continuing to promote my new business instead of curling up in the fetal position (this was an option LOL). No better time than now for people to get a Career Triage!

My Bolder choice: Keeping the dual passion of people doing work they love AND helping women create exciting new life chapters post-career. No, everyone won’t make it through this, but most of us will.

My Better choice: Serving where I can when I can…trusting that I will come through better on the other side of this, having helped as many people possible, do the same!

What’s your Braver/Bolder/Better choice? Are you taking good self-care actions? I’m so GRATEFUL to have done (and still do) the coaching/therapy work that reels me back from the ledge and keeps me not only surviving, but curve-thriving.

There are many ways to spend this time of forced quarantine. Let these questions guide what you choose: After this virus threat is gone... 

Who do you want be?

What are you doing?

Where are you doing it?

Who’s with you?

P.S. For those still working the corporate jungle, DO NOT MISS this FANTABULOUS opportunity to increase your value and put /keep yourself in the driver’s seat of your career or next move! Details and Registration here for Career Triage: The Masterclass (online April 2nd) today!!

P.P.S. MARK YOUR CALENDARS! We had such a great time this week that I’m continuing each Tuesday at 6pm CST, the free Zoom gathering, Calm In The Time of Coronavirus, to share tips, laughter, and calm to get us through these interesting, life-altering times. Join us and feel free to invite any positive women you know! Here’s the join link.

P.P.S. Ready for that deep life dive that’s been nudging at you. Let’s do it! Schedule a life-strategy session here. 

I wasn’t focused and believe me, I thought I was. I was running and chasing… looking for the thing that would make it all happen. Whether it was my business, my relationships, or financial, I just couldn’t seem to move forward. René took me through the steps to build the action plan that got me where I wanted to be.” ~ Kathe Crawford, Business Strategist & Master Coach

Calm In The Time of Coronavirus

How are you? Really? What are you doing to take care of yourself? Those you love? There’s a lot of information flying around about COVID-19 and I do believe in staying informed, but this is not that. This is an invitation to join me this evening at 6pm CST to share tips and encouragement in staying calm through crisis.

I’m a huge believer in focusing on what we CAN control: our response… and choosing healthy responses is especially critical now. The meeting time is usually when I’m leading a local in-person meetup group, Midlife Woman Redefined, but because we’re honoring social distance, I decided to host it online instead of canceling it. Creativity springs from chaos. And this will be our focus this evening. If you can’t make it and would still like some encouragement, please email me. I’ll send you the tip sheet tomorrow.

Join us this evening by clicking the link below. If you’ve never used zoom before, make sure to click the link a few minutes early to install it on your desktop and join (it’s free!). You can also join the link from your phone or call in from a landline (you won’t have the video option from a landline). Oh, and you don’t have to be seen unless you want to be, so no dressing up or cleaning house required!

C.René Washington is inviting you to a scheduled Zoom meeting.

Topic: Midlife Woman Redefined Meeting
Time: Tuesday March 17th at 6:00pm CST

Join Zoom Meeting
https://zoom.us/j/575449297
(best one-click option to use with laptop, tablet or smartphone)

Meeting ID: 575 449 297

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Find your local number: https://zoom.us/u/aKlk3a0i

#BraverBolderBetter #InThisTogether

Adding No Drama to The Trauma

“There’s enough trauma in the world; do I need to add drama?” ~ writer, Elizabeth Gilbert

I HATE passenger seat drivers! Those people who monitor and comment on your every ‘ease on down the road’ move…telling you what to do. #Irritating. One reason Mr. Washington loves our road trips, is in his words, my ability to, “Sit your ass over there and ride.” Yep! Because I don’t ride with people I don’t trust. 

Unfortunately, as a country we’re riding with people we don’t know if we can trust. And that had me sharing ALL the things Coronavirus. Trying to help family and friends drive their cars. But, I don’t want to add drama to the trauma and will be focusing instead on this:

  • Staying healthy to not overburden the healthcare system (cooking good food (all those recipes I’ve been saving!), moving my body, pulling up on the Oreos 😂)…
  • Staying informed enough to make good decisions without wallowing in fear and confusion. Thankfully, I have great friends connected to trustworthy information…
  • Checking on people and helping when I can, where I can…
  • Getting my ‘when I have time’ things done (business, books, online courses, podcasts, movies, jigsaw puzzles, reconnecting with family/friends, etc.)

Instead of driving your car, I’m giving you some fuel for the road ahead:

  • Mindset coaching is my jam. We can’t always control WHAT happens, but we CAN control our response to it. I’m providing free 30-minute coaching sessions to any woman who’s feeling overwhelmed, stressed, or frustrated. The sessions can be scheduled Mondays – Thursdays. There’s a one-session limit, no strings attached. STRICTLY doing what I can where I can. Schedule here. Choose the Get Your Life STAT! option.
  • Sharing some ‘let’s focus on what’s good’ resources…click here.

Be safe. Stay informed NOT inFear. Stay encouraged. This too shall pass. Vote for great leadership.

“Today, Give Yourself Good Things.”

No one can give you anything – love, shame, self-esteem – until you give it to yourself. Today, give yourself good things. ~ Martha Beck

On my podcast, Midlife Woman Redefined (you can still listen on Apple Podcast!), I started most episodes encouraging you to celebrate an, ‘I did that!’ moment. I see so many women give and do, do and give, without stopping to celebrate or even acknowledge their many accomplishments big and small. What I’m celebrating (read to end for my special celebration offer):

The 5th anniversary of becoming a certified life coach!! Wooooo Hooooooo!!

On the same day of this milestone, I received this message from a former client, “…I am sitting at my new desk, in my new life to which I am enjoying, looking over the notes of our sessions.  Thank you a million times over for helping ME to come out of hiding. God used you to push me…I was stagnated by fear but I am now free and fearless to be me.  YOU ROCK.” This incredibly giving woman gave herself the best gift…a new life. She quit her job, moved to a new state and is working and loving up on her grandchildren in a life on her terms. Grateful!!

I’m also celebrating a message I received the week before from an email subscriber, “I’m afraid I find your communications patronising…Please unsubscribe me. Good luck...” Not-my-people energy removed. Grateful!!

The biggest lesson I’ve learned is illuminated Martha Beck’s words above. I had to learn how to believe in myself, validate myself , certify myself… to fully and completely walk in my purpose: helping midlife women see and believe in themselves then own this ah-mazing time of life to create as many new life chapters as they choose. I’m only engaging with What and Who supports that. And I hope you do the same. So, yes…unsubscribe from what doesn’t serve you, sign up for what does!

Some women at this life stage don’t believe that they deserve to get what they want. Some don’t believe they have the time get what they want. Others are afraid of OPP (other people’s perceptions) if they do Go For It. The truth: IT’S NOT TOO LATE and YOU CAN WORK THROUGH THE FEAR.

But only if you decide, then do. Time IS on your side if you choose to use it for your benefit. Don’t moan about it. Be about it. You can use it or you can refuse it. This. Is. Your. Time.

“You’ve always had the power, my dear. You just had to learn it for yourself.” ~ Glenda (Wizard of Oz)

I know and deeply believe in the power of coaching to help you Learn and Live it for yourself! Here are some options for coaching and other resources:

Been wanting to work with me? Every woman that treats herself to this work achieves life-altering results! Check out my special anniversary offer here.

Another awesome coach and friend has a FREE OPPORTUNITY for coaching: Mavis Johnson is seeking participants to test a new coaching program. It’s 4 months of coaching (starting now) for 4-6 midlife women exploring transition that includes 1-1 coaching. Email her asap if you’d like to participate in her beta group, mavisjaye50@gmail.com.

Podcast fan? Check out FAB coach, Renee Reid’s, Welcome To Your Life! Midlife Made Easier podcast, here. This episode features a conversation with moi, Celebrate The Life You Want To Create. YAYYYY!!

And another podcast option from one of my Self-Love Explosion tour partners, the phenomenal Lynnis Woods-Mullins, V.I.B.E. Living, a breath of get-your-life fresh air! Listen here.

Self-coaching books I love: The Crossroads of Should and Must by Ella Luna, The Big Leap by Gay Hendricks, BARE by Susan Hyatt, Self-Coaching 101 by Brooke Castillo, The Year of Yes, by Shonda Rhimes, Daring Greatly by Brené Brown, and I always get living best life wisdom from O Magazine.

Oh, and I can’t forget to shout out my new jam, Career Triage: The Masterclass (online April 2nd!) for anyone experiencing career drama. Click here.

It’s International Women’s Day! And month. Do something great for yourself AND other women. #BraverBolderBetter!!

Recently, I received this message from a subscriber, “I’m afraid I find your communications patronising and I don’t know how to unsubscribe from your list of contacts. Please unsubscribe me. Good luck with your future endeavours.”

Still Waiting? WHY!!??

I met a woman in transition. She’s a divorced grandmother, looking towards the end of a long and successful career, who’s moved across the country to start over in a new city and is ready to figure out her Who Am I?

I’ve been pondering this question for myself. Feeling somewhat out of sorts about not locking in to ONE THING. Then the epiphany:

The ONE THING is staying true to ME…multi-faceted, multi-passionate ME!

Recently someone asked if I get bored. Nope. Have never been bored. Never. What I am is excellent at addition and subtraction. I add what I want to experience and subtract what no longer works for me. I used to buy in to that ‘never quit’ crap. No more.

This week, we lost two women whose lives beautifully illustrate this principle (I’m making it a principle!) of life addition and subtraction.

Style maven, B. Smith was a model, actress, author, television host, and businesswoman and an inspiration to women, particularly those with melanin.

American yoga master, Tao Porchon-Lynch was a model, cabaret performer, actress, and “one of the most acclaimed yoga teachers of our century” (Deepak Chopra).

B. Smith died too young at age 70 from complications of early-onset alzheimers and Tao Porchon-Lynch lived to be the oldest yoga instructor at age 101.

What are you doing with your years?? What is it time to add? To subtract? Don’t quit on YOU!

I’m using ALL of my time to keep contributing through what interests me. Whether that’s being the co-founder of a new company, Career Triage HQ that helps people in career distress (or helps you prevent it) OR helping women figure out your new chapter. We’re in the midst of politically historic times and I’m not sitting on the sidelines. There are so many places I want to visit and I will check off as many as I can. Connecting more deeply with my husband…my nieces…my friends….there’s a LOT to do. Exciting times!

Braver. Bolder. Better. NOT bored.

Who wants to join me? The only thing keeping you from living differently is you. I’d love to help you get out of your own way. Now.

P.S. It’s time to stop wishing and dreaming and ACT! Click here to see ‘work with me’ options. This, from a client who’s stepped in to living her best life and loving it: “I owe much to you and your stupendous coaching (and gentle nudges)”

P.P.S. If you (or someone you know) needs help rehabbing your career, deciding whether is time to ditch it, or wants to get that career started and locked on the good foot, Career Triage: The Masterclass is for you! See details for the April 2nd online masterclass here. Birmingham-area peeps: one of my partners, Tonya Allen and I will be on the ABC 33-40 network talk show, Talk of Alabama, Thursday February 27th, 9am – 10am CST. Set your DVR’s or catch us live talking all things Career Triage!

We Interrupt Our Regularly Scheduled Programming

I’m soooo excited! Midlife Woman Redefined is not only what I coach, It’s what I walk. Career Triage HQ, my new company in collaboration with powerhouse coaches, Gwen Hall and Tonya Allen, is not me ditching coaching midlife women. That’s still an active passion. Career Triage is an expansion of my grand passion: Coaching, and part of my Braver Bolder Better year!

I’m popping in your inbox to ask for your help. You may be out of the corporate game, but I’m sure you have children, grands, friends…people you know who are still in it. And if you’ve ever been helped by a blog I wrote, a podcast episode I recorded, or coaching I provided, I’m asking you to pay it forward by referring (or treating!) the Career Triage Masterclass to someone who could use it.

The Masterclass is for career professionals (women and men) who want to put themselves on a successful path OR who are frustratingly off track and want to course correct. It’s Wednesday, February 19th, 9am – 12pm CST and it’s online (no travel). Registrants will receive the recording (so there’s no schedule conflict issue) and confidentiality will be protected. The investment is $99 and the value is priceless! Seats (only 50) are selling and we want A SELLOUT!

Tomorrow is Valentines Day and while chocolates and flowers are great, expressing love through helping someone set themselves up for success is the best! The registration link is here. Treat or Share. And Thank You!!

LOVE to all of you! Treat Yo Self to loads of self-love all month.

#BraveBolderBetter #MidlifeWomanRedefined #HappyLoveDay

P.S. As I said, I’m still in the coaching midlife women thriving business and if you’re ready for YOUR Braver, Bolder, Better year, let’s talk about your options here.

P.P.S. I never tire of this. LOL! Treat Yo Self to a listen here.