Something I see in so many women who are in this midlife stage is a fear of failure holding them back from doing amazing things. Now, I understand fear. I experience it myself. But what I have also learned is that taking big leaps in the face of fear, if it doesn’t produce something good, it always at least produces a life-changing lesson.

I’ve messed up my fair share of times. And I know you have too. And I also know that, if you really think about it, each of your failures will have taught you something amazing down the road. So I’m sharing some tips today to help you see what it is you have learned from your failures, so you don’t let them get in the way of trying something big in the future.

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Last week, I gave you part one of my list of lessons for the decade of 2020. This week, I want to bring you the remaining 10 nuggets of inspiration that will have you living bolder and better for the next 10 years.

At this time in our lives, it’s so easy to get caught up in what other people want you to be and letting yourself take a backseat. That’s not what we’re about over here. We are only in a position to serve others once we have taken care of ourselves, and the lessons I’m sharing today will help you figure out exactly who you are and what you want from midlife.

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I had a client recently who, it turns out, has been taking note of a lot of the things I have said to her. She carries them around to remind herself of them when she needs a little reminder. So, I thought I’d do the same for you today.

We are entering a new decade, and it’s time to make sure we are living the best way we know how. No more apologizing for going after what you want and no more putting everyone else first. This is our decade, mavens.

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I was watching a show recently about interesting real-life love stories. And while the show was enjoyable, there was no representation of black women and their experiences of modern dating. I complained about it for a while, but then I decided, because black women fall in love just like everybody else, I have a unique opportunity to showcase that reality right here on the podcast!

On the first edition of my Black Women in Love series I have the fabulous Karen Beverly. Karen is a dear friend of mine; she lives life on her terms, and I’ve been so lucky to have her in my life. Karen got divorced when she was young, then put her life on hold to adopt and raise a child. Then, when she reached midlife, she took it upon herself to open up to something she’d never considered before, and what happened was truly magical.

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We are officially in 2020, a new year and a new decade. Now, this is the time where most people have set resolutions for themselves to follow throughout the year, in the hopes of achieving their goals. However, this year, I will not be participating.

What I have chosen to do this year is to follow my nudges – that little push that you feel when you have the opportunity to take action that moves you towards where you want to go. That is how I will be living well in 2020.

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I believe that telling a better story about our life is incredibly important. Now, this doesn’t mean that we’re not honest about our circumstances. This is about questioning the long-held beliefs that are not making our lives any better.

Christmas is my favorite time of year, as a Christian woman. And luckily, Christmas serves as the perfect example of how we tell ourselves a better story that makes the world a more wonderful place. And you can apply this concept to any area of your life.

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We are in the midst of talking about fears as we approach the end of the year. And as you plan for the next decade, it’s important to get a grip on your expectations so you can see your dreams start to materialize.

Are you expecting success, or do you feel entitled to be successful? Think very carefully, because there is a huge difference between entitlement and expectation. You are entitled to follow your dreams and live your best life, but you are not entitled for it to just come to you.

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Over the Thanksgiving holiday this year I got a few reminders about what’s really important in our lives. So many midlife women feel trapped in this stage of life, held down by a bunch of crap that is no longer serving them. But there is another way.

Ladies, as we move into a new decade, it is time to decide what the code to your freedom is. We all have testing circumstances, but it’s how you get yourself out of them that matters in the end.

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At this time in our lives, we can get stuck in a loop of telling ourselves all sorts of nonsense stories about why we can’t do something. Whatever it is, it usually comes down to our believing our false fears, and that, mavens, is holding you back.

So, what would you do if you weren’t afraid? Would you move house, take a vacation, say no more often to the things you feel obliged to do but don’t want to do? It’s time to start putting yourself first and I’m here to give you a little nudge in the right direction.

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The holidays are fast approaching and this is a time to be thankful. However, this is no time for complacency. It’s okay to want more out of this time of the year, and today, I’m laying out for you how you can have the joy during the holidays that you deserve.

We are at the final episode of our End Like You Want to Begin series, and as we reach the close of 2019, I hope you’re starting to piece together the life you deserve. This time of year throws us a lot of challenges, and it’s easy to lose sight of your own needs and get lost in obligation, but it does not have to be this way.

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