Ep #7: Escaping the Comparison Trap

It is so easy to compare ourselves to others, for better and for worse. Sometimes we compare ourselves to somebody else, and we come out on the short end: we’re not as wealthy, or as well-traveled, or as well-known. Other times, we judge others and think that we’re superior to them, or that our way of doing things is the only way to do them.

These are all false comparisons, my friend, and you have to let that shit go. Comparison is a trap that limits us and our growth. It doesn’t serve us and it doesn’t serve other people either. It’s important to be aware of the comparison traps that pull us in to thinking that we’re not good enough, or that we’re better than others.

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Ep #6: What Would You Tell Your 99-Year-Old Self?

People commonly ask, “What would you tell your 21-year-old self?” They might substitute in some other age – 18, 30, 40, etcetera – but the question is almost always a backward-looking one. While it’s not a bad idea to consider what advice we’d give to our younger selves, we sometimes forget about the amazing stories we could tell our older selves, too!

I love the question, “What would you tell your 99-year-old self?” because it reminds us to live life as fully as possible right now. There’s nothing wrong with reminiscing on old memories from high school or our other younger years – but life isn’t over for us yet. There’s tons of time left to take advantage of all the joy and deliciousness that life has to offer. 

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Who Said??!! The Remix

VIVAs Rockin’ Paris (August 2019)

Whew! A few days ago, I returned home from an epically spectacular 15-day celebration of my upcoming 60th birthday. I and (at varying points) 9-11 FAB girlfriends + one FAB friend’s FAB daughter, laughed, explored, ate, shopped, and remained in a constant state of amazement traveling through Paris, Sarlat, and Marrakech. Exhausted, Yes! And wonderfully forever changed. Too many highlights to detail to here, but best believe I’ll be talking about them for months to come. Indulge me. LOL

On March 30, 2017, I published the original blog titled Who Said. It featured the phenomenal Tao Porchon Lynch, the world’s oldest yoga teacher (101!!). My message was about ditching old paradigms that no longer serve you to flow freely in your unique desires.

One huge paradigm I ditched is thinking I have to always be comfortable to be happy. Yes, I have some foundational comfort requirements, but I’ve also learned that getting comfortable with being uncomfortable is the ticket for feeling F.E.A.R. (False Evidence Appearing Real) and doing The Thing anyway! I didn’t let F.E.A.R. keep me from…

  • investing a year out in Tracey Friley Travel’s Josephine Baker-themed trip to France and Morocco…
  • trusting that inviting my girlfriends to go with me on a two week trip would be well and end well (we’re already talking about the next adventure!)…
  • planning my own birthday parade and party in Paris, a city I’d never visited (it was FANTABULOUS!)…
  • hiring a band (recommended but still) unknown to me (they rocked it OUT!)…
  • wearing a mini dress for that party (see pic above), driving an ATV, walking through streets during a holy feast day in which goat heads and bodies were being chopped, charred, and fleeced!

Recently, I saw this Zig Zigler quote,

“F-E-A-R has two meanings: ‘Forget Everything And Run’ or ‘Face Everything And Rise’. The choice is yours.”

This woman is RISING. And I want ya’ll to RISE with me! Who Said you can’t??

P.S. As you can see, I’m in over-the-top mode for this milestone birthday and if you’re a Woman Ready To Redefine and Rise, then…

  • you want to jump on an over-the-top opportunity to be coached by me for 60 days at a ‘never coming again’ investment of $600!! I’m only taking 24 women (1959 birth year equals 24) and you must be qualified to be sure it’s a great fit for both of us. We start September 1 and end November 8. Respond ‘I’m Ready! to this email to get full details.
  • listen to the new podcast, Midlife Woman Redefined for a weekly injection of how to Rise and Fly! Click here to listen and subscribe!

Ep #5: Creating the Recipe for What You Want

When I woke up this morning, I took a few minutes to really take a good look at what has led me to this point in my life. How on earth did I get where I am today, talking to all of you listeners on this show? Then I realized, I’ve created my own recipe for what I want, and I’ve honed it over time to be perfect for me.

When I first started cooking, I used to stick to a recipe by the letter. I’d get the exact ingredients from the store, and I’d get anxious if I didn’t have something on the list. Somebody’s telling me how to do it, why should I mess with that? Well, following someone’s instructions word for word might get you their perfect cake, bit it ain’t always going to be the perfect cake for you.

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The Opportunity of a Lifetime

Since August 2, I’ve been in a constant state of awe. Maybe you’ve heard, that I’m celebrating my 60th year on a FANTABULOUS trip to France to Morocco…and 12 girlfriends are with me for some or all of the trip. In Paris, a band I hired, danced us to our dinner boat down the Seine River…all a surprise to my girlfriends. Yes, I throw my own parties!

And that’s only ONE ah-mazing jaw-dropping event we’ve enjoyed!  My vocabulary fails me in describing the awesomeness of this experience, but what doesn’t escape me is this:

Many of you reading this blog are aching for Joy, Ah-mazing, and Wonderful to knock on your door. Well, let me clear this up for you right now:

They aren’t coming! You have to choose them. You have to get out of your own way and grab them! 

So because I’m tremendously GRATEFUL for being well enough down the Let Your Shxt Go road to choose Joy, Ah-mazing, and Wonderful for MY life…

And because I’m GRATEFUL for the clients who work with me to choose it for THEIRS…

And because I’m BEYOND BLESSED to crack another decade, excited about what more Ah-mazingness is waiting on me…

I’m doing a one-time Get Your Life NOW! coaching birthday offer that won’t be seen again: 

60 DAYS of COACHING FOR $600!!!!

Shhhh…don’t tell my business coach, Rachel Rodgers! She’ll slam me for charging below my regular investment. This is NOT about devaluing, though. 

It’s about my remembering my journey to freeing my mind and seeing my life follow!  It’s about wanting to help more women do the same.

My coaching changes lives. The value on that is priceless. The $600 (normally $3200) for 60 Days is my birthday gift to a few great women. 

I’m only doing it for 24 TAKE-ACTION WOMEN (if you love whine with your cheese, don’t respond). 

So jump quick! Why 24? Because I was born in 1959 and the digits add up to 24. 

What you get:

– 4 one-to-one calls with me (two per/month,1 hour duration)

– Text/email access to me during business hours (you’re getting concierge coaching for TWO MONTHS!)

– A life-changing Action Plan

– A time frame that keeps you on track (60 days must be completed between September 1 – November 14)

How you get it:

– Respond to this email, saying Yes! Now’s my time!

– Respond to the short questionnaire you’ll be sent.

– If approved (I’m serious about only working with Take Action women!), you’ll receive an invoice and a scheduling link.

Get a Kick-Ass coach for 60 days for $600??!! If you’re serious about getting that life you keep saying you want, then THIS is the sign you’ve been waiting on.

Don’t F.E.A.R. yourself out of ending 2019 and stepping in to 2020 like, 

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P.S. Are you listening to The Midlife Woman Redefined podcast?
If you aren’t, fix that now! Click here.

Ep #4: What Do You Really Want?

When is the last time you checked in with yourself about what you really want? Many women in midlife realize that habits, obligations, and thought patterns have piled up over the years that are no longer the right fit (if they ever were!). This is why so many of us get the urge to leave jobs we no longer like, stop spending time with people who drain us, or shake up our routines in midlife.

But if we want to actually make these changes, we first have to bring awareness to our everyday lives and notice what we’re still doing that we no longer want to do. We have to get clear on what lights us up – what makes us feel passionate and excited – and what makes us feel dragged down and heavy. And I’ve got some tools to help you do this!

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​5 Ways to Stop Living Small

Before I walk on the stage, I have this pit in my belly. It tightens and pushes against something inside of me. I want to walk away (wait I really want to run away) because I’m not sure I can do this in front of this group of people. I don’t know if they will nod and affirm my words. I don’t know if the audience is going to look at me like I’m crazy. I stand there, and I wonder if I should do this. Then, I cuss aloud.

Eff—-this. I’m not giving in to this fear.

I walked out onto the stage and delivered my five-minute story like a fearless and magical midlife maven.

A week later, I was featured on a television show to promote my podcast. 

Right now, I’m in Paris celebrating my 6th decade. 

In a few months, I will travel across the sea to another continent to share this journey of living happier with a group of amazing women. 

It’s all because I decided to unfriend FEAR and block her access to my brain and my body.

After years of working on this fear mindset that would attempt to take over my body and talk me out of my destiny and happiness more often than not, I am finally saying Eff- FEAR. If you’ve never met fear, you’re a lucky woman. However, if you know fear like I do, you understand the trauma and drama fear can bring into your life. Fear is the lame frenemy who doesn’t want you to do more, live better, and be happier because you’ll have to leave her behind. 

F.E.A.R. (false evidence appearing real) will have you living in a proverbial cardboard box if you don’t tell her to sit down and shut up. The box that fear keeps you in says you have to stay at that job until you turn 65. The box that fear keeps you in says you have to hold onto those friendships that side-eye you for wanting to travel the world. That box that says you can’t live out your dreams because you’re past some magical age (Lie!!)

So, how do you get out of the BOX, unfriend F.E.A.R., and STOP living small?

1. Release the norms of society.​ 65 (or whatever # you’re ‘shoulding’ yourself) is not the age that activates true living. That age is whatever number you want it to be.

2. Start thinking BIGGER.​ If you think you would like to travel to Jamaica, turn that into a bigger vision of traveling to every Caribbean island within six months.

3. Drop the naysayers.​ If you have friends who tell you of all the things that could go wrong, drop them. Yep, I said it. Drop them. We want to surround ourselves with solution-focused individuals, not naysayers.

4. Take a RISK!​ The only way to get out of the box is to JUMP, LEAP, DIVE, & FALL. Yep, I said fall…ALL of these actions will mean you may fall…and that’s fine.

5. Pat yourself on the damn back.​ You are doing what others are too scared to do (see how FEAR shows up), and you’re handling your business. Pat yourself on the back. Pay yourself. Treat yourself (here’s a trip to Europe with me if you wanna GO BIG or GO HOME).

How are you going to unfriend FEAR during the next 30 days?

Drop a comment and let me know what your plan is to LIVE BIGGER for the rest of 2019.

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Ep #3: The Body Compass

Do you find yourself agonizing over decisions, going around and around in circles about what you should (or shouldn’t) do? Not only do we want to make the right choice – we fear the pain and consequences of making the wrong choice. This is especially true for my perfectionists out there, who never want to have to make a mistake or course-correct.

Making choices is an inherent part of life, and if you’re a woman in midlife, you’re probably facing some important choices right now. Stay in your corporate career for a few more years? Take a trip to the country you’ve been dreaming of? Move into a smaller, hipper, more “you” home? There’s no end to life’s choices, and it can be incredibly helpful to have tools on hand to help us make decisions with more confidence and less stress.

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Ep #2: Who Are You Without Roles or Titles?

If you ask yourself, “who am I?” what immediately comes to mind? Maybe you’d say you’re a mother, a wife, a corporate executive, a community leader. These can all be wonderful things, but none of them are quite the answer we’re looking for. Now I want you to ask yourself: “Who am I without all of the roles I fill and the titles I have?” That question is going to give you a very different answer.

When I work with my clients, we work together to find answers to three questions: Who am I? What do I want? And how do I get it? Today I want to explore the first question in that list and explain why it’s so important for us to be able to define ourselves without relying on our roles or titles to do it for us. To be able to describe ourselves based on our essence, rather than the jobs or obligations we hold.

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Ep #1: Welcome to Midlife Woman Redefined!

Thank you for joining me on the inaugural episode of Midlife Woman Redefined. I cannot fully express how excited I am that you are joining me in this mission to change how women in their midlife years experience this incredible life we have left.

If you are a woman who is coming out of a successful career, coming out of raising children to adulthood, being queen community volunteer, a woman who believes in the value of investing in personal development and want to now focus on prioritizing yourself and your dreams while living in purpose and passion, then this is the show for you.

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