I got some shocking news today and there’s a message in it for all of us. Didn’t want to hold it until next week and hope you take five minutes to listen.

As some of you know, I’m a Frida Kahlo FANatic. Her persistence and resilience in living life on her own terms and artistry, through tremendous physical pain, heartache, and all manner of trials, inspires me. My first solo-hosted retreat, the Paint Your Own Reality Retreat, centered around a Frida art exhibit in St. Petersburg, FL. It was a wonderfully impactful weekend of women connecting to the inner artist we all possess to design (and live!) the life we crave.

Recently, after enjoying a cuppa coffee in a Frida mug, I checked the bottom for cleaning instructions and laughed out loud when I saw the message, ‘FOR BEST RESULTS, USE OTHER SIDE’. Who would use this side to drink from?? LOL

Then, I realized how often we metaphorically do this: pouring our time, attention, and love into what can’t take it, receive it, or respect it. We live in the futility of defined insanity…doing the same thing repeatedly, expecting a different result. Looking outside of ourselves for answers that rarely come, because our answers are within. In. The. Mirror. Reflecting on who we are and who we want to be, always brings The Answer. That nudge for something different that won’t leave you be is your ‘other side’ that it’s time to use for best results.

It’s February, the month dedicated to all things LOVE. I’m suggesting you give yourself permission to focus on Self-Love. Truth bomb:

LOVING YOURSELF IS RESPECTING YOURSELF. PRIORITIZING YOURSELF IS HONORING THE BLESSING OF YOUR EXISTENCE AND EXPANDS YOUR CAPACITY TO GIVE, CONTRIBUTE, AND LOVE BEYOND SELF.

Start with writing a love letter to yourself. If that sounds intimidating, make it a love note. Speak in the voice of your 90-year old self (or whatever age you can imagine yourself, ten or more years from now), compassionately celebrating your life lived fully and completely…no dream left on the table. I’m doing it too and will share mine next week. I’d LOVE to see yours. And to give you an extra nudge, my LOVE gift to you is a free coaching call for the first five women who send me your self-love letter for coaching on how to make those dreams come true. Now that’s better than chocolates and chocolate is my jam!

P.S. Just made one of my dreams come true! I’m collaborating with two BadAss women I adore and respect (Tonya Hill Allen and Gwendolyn Madison Hall) on helping people end career misery (men included on this one!). Our new company is Career Triage HQ and official registration for our masterclass on February 19th is open! You may be out of the corporate rat race, but you probably know someone who’s not and who’s suffering in frustration. Point them to the Career Triage Masterclass, right here. It’s online and spots are limited.

Mom used to say, “Girl, you always take the hard road!” And as we say in the south, She ain’t nevva lied! LOL!! I used to see this as a negative. Now, I see it as not giving up on myself. That has been especially true on this entrepreneurial journey. It’s absolutely been an up/down/sideways path. Many times I thought I had it figured out. Many more times I’ve wanted to give up. And God always sends a sign: keep going. And I do:

Surrender (to God’s plan).

Trust my nudges.

Detach from specific outcome.

I finally get it, mom! And for those of you still searching for your next chapter IT, don’t give up. Purposeful intention and action will lead you to IT. Last week I proposed we stop ‘killing time’. This week I’m proposing we do kill our darlings IF they’re keeping us from our bigger YES. The darling I killed? My podcast. I loved it! So many of you told me you did too (thank you!!), but…

“‘Killing your darlings’ is an old piece of advice sometimes given to aspiring writers. You have to get rid of your most precious and especially self-indulgent passages for the greater good of your literary work. “

…it was a ‘darling’ holding me back from my bigger Yes: high impact coaching in a way that gives me more bucket list time and freedom. I do believe it’s a crime to sit on your gift AND I don’t want it to suffocate me either. WHAT DO YOU REALLY WANT? Don’t be afraid release some darlings and go for it. This is our Braver Bolder Better year!! Embrace the journey. Yes, it can be hard… and hard to get to best is The Best!

#MidlifeWomanRedefined #BraverBolderBetter #LTSG!

P.S. My bigger Yes (in partnership with phenoms, Tonya Allen and Gwen Hall) launches later this week!! Career Triage is an online masterclass that helps mid-career professionals rehab a career on life support. Even if you’re in rewirement, you probably know someone who could benefit. Do share! See details here. Oh, and the great thing about podcasts? They may end, but they don’t go away. Check out the 29 episodes of Midlife Woman Redefined here.

P.P.S. I’m obsessed with BraverBolderBetter women who never give up on living their best lives! This week, I’m featuring 70 yr old, Bold and Powerful, Dorothy Harris. Read about her amazingness, here.

P.P.P.S. Who caught the title source? Take a few minutes for a throwback dance break, here.

“The time I kill is killing me.“ ~ Mason Cooley

It was going to be a quick run in the museum shop to get a gift, but when I got to the door, I found out there was a 15 minute wait until it opened. I immediately thought, ‘I have 15 minutes to kill.’ and reached for my cell phone. Dang! Left it in the car. 

I could move my body by walking around the plaza, but my cute-heeled boots weren’t conducive for that kind of walking. 

I could strike up a conversation with one of the other people waiting, but wasn’t feeling like forced conversation. 

As I continued to explore my time options, it came to me that ‘killing time’ is a pretty dumb thing to say and do. Why not LIVE time instead? In 15 minutes, you can…

make out with your honey…

have a great conversation with your friend OR a stranger…

listen to a TED talk…

get fifteen minutes further in that book you want to finish…

purge some clothes to donate…

dance break!…

play with a child…

write a thank you note…

meditate…

coffee/tea time…

choose your next vacay location…

make a gratitude list…

make a list of (YOUR) accomplishments (tremendously affirming!)…

write the outline for that book in your head…

????

And what did I do to LIVE my 15 minutes of museum opening wait time? I mentally scribed this blog. 

Addendum: Subsequent to creating this blog post, I saw the horribly sad news of the deaths of basketball great, Kobe Bryant, his daughter and the three other people. I pray their last 15 minutes were happy.

We. Do. Not. Have. Time. To. Kill. 

LIVE with life-affirming intention, everyday!

P.S. Another great way to spend (a little over) 15 minutes: Listen to the Midlife Woman Redefined podcast here. THE FINAL (for now!) EPISODE is about worry and fail and drops Wednesday!!
P.P.S. And if you’re ready to jumpstart that life-affirming living, click here to see the work-with-me options. I’m only taking the Brave and the Bold who MUST get to their Better!

 “I started to realize that doing everything the same way hadn’t been working out too well.” ~ Sheriff Longmire (Netflix series, Longmire)

We make life soooo much harder than it needs to be, don’t we? And I believe it’s because we confuse simple with easy.

We know exactly what to do to live a healthy and abundantly joyful life (Yes, you do!). Yet…we move forward, then stumble back. We want it to be easy. Let that delusion go! Because guess what? Doing ‘the simple-maybe-not-easy’ things on automatic is what brings the ease we crave. We build ‘best life’ muscles. My plan:

1. Get (and) keep my mind set on what powers me up.
2. Follow my inner compass.
3. Live life-fueling habits, as joyfully as possible.
4. Help others.
5. Repeat daily.

This is our time! Keep it simple.

P.S. Be sure to catch me on the free podcast, Midlife Woman Redefined, here.

P.P.S. Go see the movie, Just Mercy, and strongly consider supporting the work of the Equal Justice Initiative (EJI).

As promised, here are the last ten Rene-isms (if you missed the first ten, click here). And if you’re ready to live your Best Life-isms, click here to see the work-with-me options. I’m only taking the Brave and the Bold who MUST get to their Better!

1. Self-love is not selfish…it’s high octane fuel. Sitting on your dreams…THAT’s selfishness.
2. Keep your Attention on your INtention.
3. Money is simply an energy exchange. God has all the money.
4. When I truly surrender, my life takes flight.
5. What lights me up, illuminates my path. I follow love.
6. A decision is a choice, not a life sentence. I can always change my mind.
7. Everything good to do isn’t good for ME to do.
8. Never be afraid to seek the mirror and look into the mirror. It’s ALL information. 
9. I’m not privy to God’s plan, and that makes life and death arbitrary in my limited vision. Therefore, I choose to dream and live in the NOW. And if I’m not dead, it’s not too late. 
10. Faith, Family, Friends…NOTHING is more important.

Bonus: Living in peace doesn’t negate speaking my piece.

P.S. Be sure to catch me on the free podcast, Midlife Woman Redefined, here. This week’s episode features friend and Renaissance Woman, Karen Beverly as part of my new series, Black Women In Love!

P.P.S. Birmingham surrounding area peeps, here’s a great opportunity to attend a FANTABULOUS women’s conference. It’s the Momentum biennial leadership conference March 11-12. Early-bird registration for this fantastic 2-day event ends TODAY, Jan. 5^th. After that date, individual tickets go from $360 to $450!

Gwen Hall, Tonya Allen and moi will be leading one of the breakout sessions (The Feedback Factor) and we want to personally encourage you to attend Alabama’s largest leadership conference, open to professional women and men of any career level. Don’t. Miss. It!!

During one of our sessions, a client held up pieces of cardboard with things I’d said to her written on them: ‘These are some René-isms I’ve written down to keep with me and remind me.’

Clients often repeat my words back to me. I coach intuitively…listening deeply to what they’re saying and not saying…because the truth is, the René-isms are actually client-isms. They are your truths reflected back to you through me. And that’s why I don’t remember ten seconds later what I said. I’m channeling you, not me.

Soooo beYOND excited about the new decade and I’ve been clearing out space for all of the Ah-mazingness that’s coming for me! Been purging what no longer serves me (from email to media to household stuff to people) and reflecting on what does, including some of my best lessons learned. I’m sharing some personal René-isms you may find helpful OR may inspire you to create your own. Here are the first ten of twenty:

1. The NOs I receive mean I’m asking. The mistakes I make mean I’m attempting. The response? The consequence? That’s God’s business.  
2. Fearlessness isn’t being devoid of fear; it’s fearing less enough to take that one move closer to what you want. Do it afraid.
3. You cannot fix what you will not face. Create the life you want to celebrate, not the life you want to escape.
4. It’s true: Life is what you make it. We have choice. I choose Magnificence!
5. Give up that mortgage on that street called lack. Free your mind. Your life will follow.
6. If your mind’s not right, your life jumps the track. Daily mindset vigilance is required.
7. First right mind is ALWAYS best right mind. Don’t let a second guess prevent your first action.
8. Love, Grace, & Mercy…I require it. I extend it. 
9. Daily rest…Daily pleasure…are benchmarks of successful living, not bonuses.
10. Deprivation is not a winning plan. Feed your body what it needs AND loves and Keep. It. Moving.

Happy New Year…Wonderful New Decade!! Come back next week for the rest of the twenty. ❤️

P.S. Be sure to catch me on the podcast, Midlife Woman Redefined, here. And if you’re ready to live your Best Life-isms, click here to see the work-with-me options. I’m only taking the Brave and the Bold who MUST get to their Better!

Hello

May this be a week of beautiful reflection, rest (reclaim your time, mavens!) and connection infused with lots of laughter and joy!

For those of us missing loved ones, may wonderful memories be a balm for our sadness.

I’m doing all of above, including being GRATEFUL for the Ah-mazing life change women experienced through the work we did in cReneCoach! New and juicy things are coming in 2020. Stay tuned!

This is a great time to catch up (or re-listen) on the Midlife Woman Redefined podcast to kick off 2020 on your best foot. Click here.

Hallelujah, Christ The Savior is born! And for my friends who celebrate Hanukkah, Chag urim sameach!

cReneCoach has left the building until January 5th.

#MidlifeMaven #LetThatShxtGo! #LiveWell

P.S. Be sure to catch me on the podcast, Midlife Woman Redefined, here. And if you’re ready to surrender to your deep fear-busting dive, click here to see your work-with-me options. I’m only taking the Brave and the Bold who MUST get to their Better!

Some of the biggest revelations have come to me while lying on a hospital gurney:

• not accepting help is dumb
• ‘forever’ marriages can end
• I won the best family lottery
• the best friends become family
• dehydration is dangerous 
• and from the gurney I refused to see (my mom’s): who lives and dies is an arbitrary mystery only known to God 

Things we know, but don’t KNOW until it hits us personally. 

This past week, I was on a gurney again. My doc sent me to the ER because I had some concerning symptoms that, based on my history, necessitated ruling out a TIA (mini-stroke). Thankfully, it was not that. I was assessed as being “run down”. Since that came from a male doctor, it could have come across as patronizing, but nope! It was accurate.

Surrender: to yield, give up, abandon, relinquish…into the power of another

Part of the reason my coaching helps women experience Ah-mazing life change is because I too do the work. For the past few months, I’ve been coached by a phenomenal woman, Mary Houston. It’s deep work on changing how you run a business better by clearing out a lot of old money mindshxt. At the core though, it’s about surrendering. Truly releasing control to (for me) God, doing the work and letting God handle the outcome.

My ending up on that gurney again was my releasing that last bit of resistance to trusting myself through trusting God’s outcome. 

I’ve been ‘running down’ an imaginary clock…trying to get it all in before I miss that great client, or that fun thing, or before I die…early...even younger than my mom. And not pacing myself better simply fulfills the self-prophecy.

Just surrender dammit!

My 2020 focus is on coaching women through your F.E.A.R. (false evidence appearing real) to your surrender to the wonderful that’s waiting on you! And I’ve started with my own. True surrender is a whole ‘nother level of letting shxt go. Wooo Sa!

The key: 

Stay in your lane. Stay in your business. Give the rest to God.

Simple yet deeeeep. I’m on it. No more gurney revelations! 

P.S. Be sure to catch me on the podcast, Midlife Woman Redefined, here. And if you’re ready to surrender to your deep fear-busting dive, click here to see your work-with-me options. I’m only taking the Brave and the Bold who MUST get to their Better!

I’m doing something that scares me again: this time it’s pitching myself to Anna Navarro (Republican strategist/commentator and part-time host on The View) to be her coach. There’s something about her that’s been nudging me to do this for months and this past week, she told Oprah’s sister (who was in the audience) to tell O that she needs a Weight Watchers coach. No knock to WW, but I know that the BARE lifestyle is the best path to dropping whatever’s weighing you down. She may never respond…she may say no, but I’ll never know if I don’t ask. And the asking is what truly counts. “Nothing ventured. Nothing gained.”

What would YOU do if you weren’t afraid?

What do you want to be grateful for when spring rolls around in 2020? How would you fill in the title blank? How will you get out of your way to allow it to happen? What turtle steps can you take now?

I’m going for 100 people saying No. Because if I get 100 nos, that means I’ve made around 500 asks and getting Braver Bolder Better at asking is one of my goals. I want to thicken my rejection skin. 🙂 Eventually, all that rejection will pay off in getting to the best Yesses! We are not too old for the Yesses, sisters!

For those celebrating Thanksgiving, I hope you have an enjoyable and safe holiday week! Treat yourself to some chill time too! I’m GRATEFUL for every one of you who read the blog, listen to the podcast and/or have become a coaching client. DEEPLY APPRECIATIVE!! I’m also grateful for those who opted out. Negative energy gone. Everything/one ain’t for everybody.

And if I’ve said anything that has motivated you to make changes you’re grateful for, another BIG ASK I’m making is for you to become a subscriber of The Midlife Woman Redefined podcast. It’s FREE and the reviews rolling in say it’s a great, beneficial listen on getting your mind right to live your Best Life. A short listen too! To sample and subscribe, go to crenecoach.com/podcastlaunch OR go to Apple Podcast, Spotify, or Stitcher and put Midlife Woman Redefined in the search box to find and subscribe. And don’t struggle, get your friend or one of those tech savvy young-er people to get you subscribed.